Preview: Udinese - Palermo

By: Steven | August 29th, 2008

Saturday, August 30th, 2008 18.00
Stadio Friuli, Udine

Overview

Well, this sucks, doesn’t it? We went down to Ravenna, our management is fuckin’ up everything and we don’t seem to be ready for the new season. Yesterday, I even found a site that predicted us ending 14-15th… This season can go either way: we can kick ass and rub our balls against the ass of the Champions League, but we can also end up trying to avoid ugly gayboy Serie B fucking us up the culo. The game against the Terremotati will make things a lot more clear.

Colantuono needs to forget all the transfer-shit from the last week, and try and concentrate on the game. And Sabatini better not be in the stadium.

Squad Status

Palermo

Although it’s the beginning of the season, we’re already missing people. Cassani, who from now on will be called ‘Screamer’, and Carrozzieri are already out with injuries. Dellafiore, The Serbian Stallion and Capuano (yay! party up in here!) are back from their injuries. Another problem might be De Melo: kid is good, kid is ready, kid kicks Cavani’s ass, but kid might be shipped of to Lille before even tasting Serie A. Bobby Goblin might also be out because of a sudden attack of gayness. I hope.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Raggi, Dellafiore, Bovo, Balzaretti; Migliaccio, Liverani, Nocerino; Lanzafame, De Melo, Miccoli

Sampdoria

For more on Udinese and their lineup, go visit Udinese’s Offside page.

Probable Lineup:
Handanovic; Motta, Sala, Vujadinovic, Lukovic; Inler, Tissone; Sanchez, Floro Flores, Di Natale; Quagliarella

Categorical Matchup

The Pretty Roman vs. The Slovak Stopper: Palermo. Come on, Amelia is desperate to prove the world that he is the rightful heir to Gigi’s throne. He’s going to wanna show his skills, and doesn’t want to be the first beaten keeper of the season, like Jimmy was last year.

The New Boys vs. Who The Fuck?: Push. I have no fuckin’ clue what to expect from Udinese’s backline. Half of the starting guys aren’t here, and I don’t know what Motta does when not playing for the Azzurrini. On our defense: it can’t be worse than last season, can it?

Keep the Turd on the Bench! vs. Danger!: Push. Migliaccio + Nocerino + Liverani = Udinese-midfield. Minus Miggy + Guana = disaster.

Amauri No More vs. Poor Man’s Luca Toni: Palermo. It’s the start of the season, and Lanzafame wants to show his skills. Add some scary eyebrows and a playboy to that, and there’s no way Quagliarella and Antonio Floro Flores (that must mean something like Flower Flowers in Spanish, I think) are going to beat that. Maybe Di Natale…no, let’s not thing of that…

Final Analysis

This game is a dangerous one. We have some though weeks coming up, so we need to start the season with a win. Especially against a team that could be competing with us for a European ticket at the end of the season. Beating Marino’s team will give ours a boost, and will also sink the Terremotati’s hopes to do as well as last season. It will also be our first glance at the new team and how it has been affected by the crap from the last weeks.

Form Guide

Palermo
No games played.

Udinese
No games played.

Past Encounters
20 games, 5 wins, 8 losses and 7 ties.

1991/92 - serie B - Udinese-Palermo 1-0
1994/95 - serie B - Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2004/05 - serie A - Udinese-Palermo 1-0
2005/06 - serie A - Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2006/07 - serie A - Udinese-Palermo 1-2
2007/08 - c. Italia - Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2007/08 - serie A - Udinese-Palermo 1-1

Prediction

It’s not going to be a highscoring affair, I can tell you that from the past.

1-0. De Melo.

MOTM

Amelia, for not conceding.

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!