Preview: Palermo – Siena, or: You lousy sacks of crap better win this one

By: Steven | January 17th, 2008

muyha

Sunday December 20th, 2008
Stadio Renzo Barbera (La Favorità), Palermo

Squad Status

Palermo

So, we stank up the last games. Time for a change. If I’d be in charge, I’d dump Capuano, Biava and Guana and start Cassani, Rinaudo and Caserta. Too bad I’m not in charge, and we all known Guido is sticking to his three friends. Also, no Brienza. It’s a shame to be playing a game without him around. Guido probably will be afraid to start his 4-3-2-1 Christmas Tree-tactics after the game in Genova last week, so I’m expecting a 4 or even 5-man midfield with Migliaccio dropping back, Simplicio in the middle, Miccoli up front and Caserta and Jankovic as wingers. But with Guido, it’ll probably be Guana – Migliaccio – Simplicio again.

No injuries, everybody’s eligible to play as we STILL HAVEN’T BOUGHT ANYONE WHO CAN FUCKIN’ PICK THIS TEAM UP!!!!!

Probable Line-up
Fontana; Zaccardo, Biava, Barzagli, Capuano; Guana, Migliaccio, Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli, Amauri

Siena

What’s there to say about Siena? They’ve been around for four or five years, and the only thing I really remember about Siena are Tore Andre Flo and Enrico Chiesa. Well, Chiesa won’t be there, and neither will Leandro Grimi. Nice. Also, Cristian Rigano won’t be eligible. Too bad the only reason they even survived last year WILL be there: Alex Manninger. Oh yeah, and they also got Paolo De Ceglie. And Frick. And Maccarone. Shit.

Probable Line-up
Manninger; Bertotto, Portanova, Loria, De Ceglie; Vergassola, Codrea, Jarolim; Locatelli; Frick, Maccarone

Categorical Matchup

Old Man Jimmy vs. The Austrian Ace: Push. Jimmy will have taken a confidence-hit after last week’s beating, but he’s still quality material. Manninger’s good, but there’s a reason he hasn’t made the jump to a team that isn’t battling relegation.

The Swiss Cheese versus The Swiss Cheese: Push. I don’t know if you guys have noticed it yet, but I just did. Palermo has already gotten 30 goals against, in 18 games. You know what this means? It means that we have the second worst defense in the entire Serie A. Only Cagliari manages to beat that. Siena has 28, so there’ll be a whole lot of defensive errors on both sides.

The Crappy Gang versus The Great Unknown: Palermo. Codrea wasn’t good enough for Palermo, Jarolim I never even heard of, and Vergassola…boh. I just hope Guido decides to play the guys that deserve to be playing, and not that lousy Guana-bastard.

Impotent Trident versus Second Rate Strikers: Palermo. We haven’t scored yet in 2008, so it’s time to put an end to it. If Amauri doesn’t score this weekend, I’m no longer opposed to selling him. On the Siena-side, there’s Maccarone and Frick. They’re not really good, but when they gets chances, they finish ‘em off.

Final Analysis

We started 2008 in the worst possible way: a 3-0 asswhooping up North, and a last-minute one way ticket out of the Coppa Italia at home. And then you get to face a team like Siena. Fighting against a relegation that’s almost sure to happen, but they still should’ve won the game against Inter. But still: Siena suck. Really, they suck. They’ve managed to stick around for years, and never ever have I cared for them. Lousy mini-Juventus. If we don’t beat this team, we’re officially fucked. We’ve only beaten 3 teams in the last 10, including Milan, and losing to Siena, who are camping in the drop-zone would be humiliating. It’s time for our overpayed wannabe Superstars to kick some ass, and make sure that Monte Paschi will only be seen in Serie B next year.

Is there another reason we have to win? Yeah. Losing means Bye Bye Champions League, losing also means Sampdoria passing us. Losing will also mean humiliation, or have I already said that? We only lost to Siena at home once, the 1-3 in 2006 that cost Luigi Vaffanculo Del Neri his job. Don’t let this happen again.

Prediction

Score: 1-0 Palermo
Goals: Caserta, header
MOTM: Fontana

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!