Who is this key?

…Javier Pastore?

…Simon Kjaer?

…Abel Hernandez?

…Salvatore Sirigu?

These important players are undoubtedly important elements of the future for our club – yet, they do not represent the most vital piece to the club. That honor belongs to this man:

Numero Uno

Yes. That’s right. One of the craziest men in calcio is the man we have to live with: Maurizio Zamparini. For all the insanities and firing sprees, he has made Palermo dream. A couple days ago, I was thinking what the team would be like if we were to be sold to someone else…and to be honest, it was a little unnerving. Where would we go from here? Would the new owner be a foreigner with no attachment to the team? Would he be a local businessman who might have a strong attachment to the squad but not necessarily have a good plan to run the team? Thankfully, we don’t need to worry about those things just yet – as it seems that Zamparini will be along for the ride for the near future (see: plans for a new stadium). Perhaps, a most unlikely of sources, Luciano Moggi has stated it best in an interview with Mediterraneonline:

“Zenga is doing well, there needs to be some patience in life. When they take on young players they need to help them grow. Let me say something: I believe that Zamparini is one of those people that it is better not to lose because if Palermo loses Zamparini I don’t know who could substitute him and invest like he does, it is important to keep him chin-up, he’s one of those presidents that has money and the public would do well to love him. Zamparini is one who understands calcio. He knows how to conduct clubs. Last year he had an excellent season and he knows how to bring things forward.”

I think Moggi has summed it up quite nicely – so, let’s be thankful for Maurizio. Without him, we’d be looking at surviving relegation year in and year out.

News Roundup

Not alot to say about the match this past weekend. Sure, there were a couple of missed calls by the ref, but all in all, it was a game that was destined for a draw. We can chalk this one up to fatigue from the frenetic midweek game against Inter.

One interesting note from the Genoa game was the little sideshow from Marco Amelia. Even though he wasn’t playing, he attempted to create a story by telling the media he didn’t know why he was sent away. Well, Sabatini put that to rest by saying that, “Amelia knows very well how it went and there is no need to clear anything up.”

Our President also had some fun words to those who have been booing Pastore by saying that they are stupid and declaring them to be probably the same people who booed Cavani in his first appearances.

With the rise of Sirigu, it’s only natural that Rubinho might find his way out the door. According to Zamparini, “Rubinho has been a bit unfortunate, he’s a good goalkeeper but found Sirigu as a substitute who is doing well and earned a starting spot. He’s probably suffering as a result and we will find him another team because he and Sirigu are both starters – Sirigu for us, however, is a certainty.”

Finally, both Liverani and Balzaretti are targeting the Derby as the game in which they make their glorious returns.

Transfer Rumors

With January drawing nearer, Palermo has been linked to a ton of players lately. Here’s a brief summary:

- An Argentinian attacker named Sand is being linked with us again. He’s lighting up the Arab league with 9 goals in 5 games.

- German publication Bild claims that Palermo are interested in attacking mid Rakitic of Schalke 04.

- More news from Argentina as it’s being reported that Palermo are in talks for two different players: Dario Conca a trequartista for Brasilian side Vasco da Gama and Carlos Quintana a defender playing for Argentinian side Lanus.

Remember “First Appearances”

FORZA PALERMO!

Sunday, September 20th, 2009 15.00
Stadio Tardini, Parma

I warriors, brigate rosanero, siamo forti e vinceremo!

Preview

Yeah, that’s right, two consecutive Budan opening pictures. What’s there to say about this game? First off, I don’t think I need to remind you guys of the importance of this duel. Both teams have gathered four points from three games, which isn’t bad for Parma but is near disastrous for us. The only result that is acceptable here is a win. But that was also the only acceptable result versus Bari AT HOME. And we all know how that one went. So, if this team has any selfrespect and love for la maglia, then a good performance and win in Parma is demanded.

Parma, on the other hand, have been keen on taking over the Palermo II role from Torino in recent times. With transfer target Dzemaili and former Palermitani Zaccardo, Ale Lucarelli, Stefano Morrone, Davide Lanzafame, Hernan Dellafiore AND Mister Guidolin, playing Parma is like kissing your cousin. She might look hot, but things just don’t seem right.

On our side, there’s also some former Prosciutto Power: Bresciano, Simplicio and Budan all came to Palermo from Parma, and I’m really counting on the last one to prove to his former team that last season was a one time scenario.

Squad Status

Palermo

Liverani and Hernandez are still out, but we might see the return of Signore Miggy. The big surprise would be the possible starting spot for Budan, who might replace Cavani. It’s a big gamble, but you never know if Budan suddenly turns out to be the scoring machine we missed ever since Toni left.

Lots of doubt in midfield, where Bresciano (please no!) and Simplicio and Nocerino and Bertolo will battle for two starting spots next to Blasi and the quasi untouchable Pastore. Bovo still in central defense, which blows.

Parma

The Parma Offside might give you more information, but all I know is that Dzemaili and Lanza will start off the bench, and Bojinov isn’t fit enough to be included in the team.

Categorical Matchup

Sketchybrow vs. A Little More Secure: Push. I’m still not convinced, although Rubinho did show some nice moves last week. Maybe Parma could be the game to start shining?

The 1995 Berlin Wall vs. This Is What An Ending Career Looks Like: Palermo. Last week’s defending was pretty iffy to say the least. Bovo is unreliable, and Balza was unable to cope with the constant threath of an extra player, thanks to Bresciano. On the other side of the field there’s a lot of players trying to revive their career or reaching the end of it slowly.

We’re Not So Sure Who To Play vs. Midtable: Palermo. If we can keep Bresciano off the field, this one should always be ours. Midfield looks to be the weakest link in Parma’s team.

Biggie Smalls v. Young Guns: Parma. Uh? Parma? Why is that? Because Miccoli still hasn’t found the net, Budan will need to prove his qualities and Biabiabiabia and Paloschi are a fuckin’ dangerous duo.

Last Five Games

Palermo: WLD
Parma: DWL

Final Analysis

I’m always afraid of doing this. Whenever I get cocky, we lose. Whenever I predict a loss, we draw. I’m not doing this now, too important.

Prediction

2-2. Budan, Budan, Paloschi, Paloschi. Zenga gets the sack, Zampa picks a B-list coach like Baldini over guys like Spalletti or Serse Cosmi and our season is already over before it starts.

MOTM:

Budan.

Remembering the Good Times

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

I warriors, brigate rosanero, siamo forti e vinceremo!

Preview

After our first game, people were happy. People started dreaming again. After our second game, at the potato field in Arty Fartyville, people went back to reality. Zenga is not a wizard, and this team still needs a lot of work to be competing for the top five. I don’t care about comments from within the team that talk about the Scudetto, or even breaking into the top four. I want 5th or 6th, and a good Coppa run. People will try to hit us using Zenga’s comments, but I don’t think anyone here really believes that we can achieve that. Let’s do this thing step by step.

Step 3 is Bari. The team with the ugliest logo in all of Italian football, and a shirt that probably doesn’t have much competition in the same department either. The Galletti are back in A, and are still undefeated. Of course, that doesn’t mean shit, as I’d prefer winning 19 and losing 19 to drawing 38. Do the math, and you’ll see why. Anyway, on Giornata 1 they surprisingly held Inter to a 1-1, so this isn’t a team to underestimate. This is also the second Southern Derby in three giornate, which will also increase the pressure on Zenga and the boys.

The main obstacle that Zenga will need to overcome, is our first half performance. It will be impossible to get a good result if our first halves stay like this.

Squad Status

Palermo

Liverani and Miggy are still out injured, and so is Hernandez. Haven’t had much fun from that guy, have we? We’ll most likely see Bresciano and Nocerino running down the flanks, with Pastore in support of our magic duo and Blasi making his debut as defensive mid. There’s a small possibility that Bertolo will start in favour of Bresciano, but after last week’s game I wouldn’t count on it too much.

Bari

The Bari Offside is a nice place, and they’ll be able to tell you more. New acquisitions Donato, Diamoutene and Almiron will most likely not be there. Up to you if that’s a good thing or not. Superstar keeper JF Gillet will be the man to look out for, it only remains unseen how much he will suffer from his adventure with the Belgian NT (5-0 loss to Spain, 2-1 loss in Armenia).

Categorical Matchup

Fear The Brow vs. The Fearsome Belgian: Push. Gillet is by far Bari’s strongest link. Rubinho could become ours, but he needs a little more work.

Berlin Wall vs. Who that?: Palermo. Seriously, there aren’t much teams in Serie A with a defense that can compete with ours. I don’t see guys like Stellini and Parisi doing the same thing.

Back-up Bonanza vs. Serie B+: Palermo. Will Blasi perform? Will Bresciano go Bresciano again? Will Nocerino work his ass off? With Pastore on the field, this battle’s ours.

Dynamic Duo v. Kutuzov the Nomad: Palermo. Kutuzov can be dangerous. Cavani and Miccoli are dangerous. ‘Nuff said.

Last Five Games

Palermo: WL
Bari: DD

Final Analysis

This preview is bleeding cockyness. And it should. There’s no way in hell that not winning against Bari is acceptable. They’re fresh out of B, their team isn’t ready yet and they got lucky against Bologna. If Zenga wants to put his money where his mouth is, this is the time. Not winning against the Galletti means one foot in the grave for ‘Coach Z’.

Prediction

3-1. Pastore, Micco, Cavani. Kutuzov.

MOTM:

Pastore

Remembering the Good Times

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

1. Palermo still has problems playing on the road

Granted, it was the first away game of the season; yet, the away woes still seem to be right where they were last season, and the season before, and the season before that and the…(yeah, you get the idea)

2. I’m sensing a pattern to this team

First half = awful. Second half = amazing. Both against Napoli and against Fiorentina, the squad has looked pretty horrendous in the first half. Not controlling possession, poor passes, no attack. The second half always sees a significant boost in play and produces results. Who knows what it is, but Zenga must say something in the locker room that gets them to pick it up. I’d like to see this translate to a whole game…soon.

3. The pitch is HORRENDOUS
Somebody needs to dock the groundskeeper’s wages.
Wow. Just gross. People want to say that Pastore & Co. looked bad. While they didn’t look great, they also can’t be entirely faulted either. That pitch resembled more of a sand trap from Super Mario Bros. 2 rather than a Serie A-caliber pitch. All I can say is that I’m glad we won’t be making any more planned visits there in the near future.

4. Mutu is still a gypsy Romanian coke-snorting, vampire-like, prancing cheater

So some people feign offence at Mutu being labeled a gypsy. Ok, fine. I hope I’ve cleared things up with the above statement. I would never want to tarnish the Gypsy name by including him amongst them. Some want to take pity with his plight…and under normal circumstances, I would feel really bad for him too. Sure, he’s being done up hard by Chelsea…but, the fact is, he’s ADRIAN MUTU. There are only two people in the footballing world that I could feel less sorry for than Mutu: Ratface and Cristiano Ronaldo.

Le Pagelle

Rubinho 6 – Nothing he could really do about the goal that Weird Al Jovetic redirected, but what was up with those goal kicks?!

Cassani 6.5 -Pretty typical Cassani that we’ve seen. Did well to contain attacks from Vargas.

Balzaretti 7 – Tireless. Outside of Kjaer, he probably had the best game for Palermo.

Kjaer 8.5 – He looked like a veteran out there. Plain and simple. Head and shoulders above the rest of any Palermo player for the match, he came out of each challenge the winner – including goal-saving tackles.

Bovo 5.5 – Still needs to find some form. Indecisive at times.

Bertolo 5.5 – An interesting decision to be thrown in there from the start. Looked a little lost and at times definitely showed it. Give him time to adapt to the Italian style.

Bresciano 6 – Actually had some very positive moments…but also some very poor ones.

Pastore 6.5 – People need to cut the guy some slack. He’s young and only in his second game in Serie A. Yes, he had some poor passes and overall a pretty average game. However, his upside is tremendous and he had a couple remarkable passes (backheel anyone?!) as well as shaking some players on more than one occasion.

Cavani 6 – He runs and runs and runs.

Miccoli 6 – Unfortunately, there was no magic to be had in the sand pit.

Simplicio 5.5 – Helped out when he came on for Bertolo but was pretty average like the rest of the team.

Budan 6.5 – Yes, there is life from Igor!!! Just missed a header, but the promising thing is that he was actually dangerous and showed some signs of hope for the future.

Tedesco S.V. – ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Transfer Market

It’s done. No Dzemaili because he couldn’t handle competition.

Manuele Blasi

He’s no Dzemaili, but we brought in a bruiser, who has definitely got some bite. The jury is still out on how he will be incorporated into the team. He’s taking the number 88.

We got some time before our next game due to international breaks and such…so enjoy the video below:

FORZA PALERMO!

That picture pretty much sums up the afternoon for the rosanero last weekend. A lot of hugging, celebrating and even crying (I’m looking at you Eyebrows…). 5 times in fact. It was a great win against a lesser opponent. Three points in the bag and now onto Chievo.

A total recap isn’t necessary. We played motivated for pretty much the whole 90 minutes – besides two defensive lapses. Cavani stepped up big – he must’ve seen his tribute video.

Highlights

News Roundup

The wise sage Fabio Liverani gave some thoughts about the team today. One of the great values of the team is that they are a very close-knit group. In fact, according to our Magic Carpet Man, nobody wants to leave the society as they are all happy where they’re at. However, on the downside, Fabio thinks that the squad could do better to concetrate more on training during the week.

Our Bat-Boy/Frankenstein lovechild Cavani was recently linked with Fiorentina. Um, I doubt we will see Palermo make another mistake like that, so I would sweep aside that rumor. Cavani’s agent confirmed it as such by saying Edy is staying at Palermo for as long as Palermo wants to keep him. He’s doing excellent at Palermo and has no desire to leave the rosanero. Good news to hear. The kid is only getting better. If anyone wants to make comparisons, ask Ricci about his take on Cavani in comparison to a certain Torres.

Speaking of agents, Simplicio’s moneymaker will be on hand to watch Fabio take the field against the other team from Verona. Talks about a contract renewal are still in the initial stages but Rinaldi has stated that Fozzy’s desire is to certainly stay with Palermo and wants to stay in rosanero for a long time. Attachment to the shirt? That’s a good quality.

Palermo VP Miccichè gives his take on the season so far. According to him, the season has been around a 6.5 – 7. Last year, we finished the campionato on 47 points. Here we are 10 games away from the end of the season sitting on 42 points. More importantly, the team has found a style of play under Ballardini.

The biggest step so far in pursuit of the new stadium happened earlier in the week when Zamparini bought Fondo Raffo. It’s the first significant move towards construction to date. Details of the deal can be found here. Zamparini bought the land for around 11 million euros.

Is Sabatini doing something productive? Doubtful. But he is in Argentina at the moment observing a couple matches and two or three players in particular for Lanus: Eduardo Salvio (fantasista, 19 years old), Valeri (CM, 23 years old) and Quintana (CB, 21 years old). I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you though. We all know Sabatini has about as much motivation as Lindsey Lohan in rehab.

Finally, with Miccoli out for this weekend’s game, the question is who will be paired up with Cavani? Currently, it looks like it’ll be either Succi or Sneeze. That’s right, Mchedlidze is back! Here’s to hoping he gets the start. Succi was out last week due to his wife giving birth to a mini-Succi. Ballardini has a tough decision to make…or not.

Video of the Week

Another gem of a “music” video, this time dedicated to Eyebrows himself, Fabrizio Miccoli. Once again, the vocals will leave you breathless. Definitely a song worth downloading to your iTunes…haha.

I’ll try to have a review up on Saturday morning/afternoon. Thanks ragazzi…and always…

FORZA PALERMO!

Preview

Well, here we are again in a similar situation that we’ve already been in about 3,464,342 times this season. The past two games have been dramatically different and both have been definitely unexpected. Palermo come into this game at home against our “cousins” from Lecce. Right now, the club has experienced some strange times – including Zamparini talking like a sane man – but then again, it could just be the medication he’s on. At least he’s not making the same wreckless statements that he’s known for, although he seems to have passed those duties onto Nonno. The boys in pink have A LOT to do in this game in order to win back the tifosi (and rightfully so).

The time is now to start winning games against teams that deserve to be beaten – especially in front of our own tifosi. I am more than confident that if our boys don’t come out with grit and determination, the tifosi will let them hear it. All I can say is that this team has provided more head-scratching moments than Paula Abdul on American Idol. There’s nothing more to say other than Palermo MUST win tomorrow, especially given our opponents current condition. End of story.

So, Lecce. Pretty bad season so far, but that’s to be expected from a freshly promoted side. They sit in 2nd to last from the drop on only 23 points. The abysmal performances have led to Mario Beretta being sacked last week after a stale 0-0 draw against fellow relegated relegation and last place side Reggina. With that said, Gigi De Canio will be in charge of his first game as the new Lecce coach against the rosanero.

Squad Status

Palermo

Ballardini has called up 19 players to face Lecce. Those missing out on the draw are the Aussie, Igor Boo-Boo, Moris the Barbarian, Bobby Goblin and of course, Fontana. Although there has been a lot of speculation coming out of the Palermo camp about a trident of Cavani, Miccoli and Hernandez in training, you’d have to think that Davide will stick to his usual lineup of 4-3-1-2. Good news is that Sneeze is finally back and will be on the bench.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Kjaer, Bovo, Balzaretti; Migliaccio, Liverani, Nocerino, Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

A Disposizione:
Ujkani, Morganella, Savini, Nonno, Abel Hernandez, Succi, Sneeze

Lecce

Normally, here’s where I’d send you over to the Lecce page, but considering the erratic nature of the blog over there, I think I might just try to handle this myself. I mean, anybody remember Saint Antonio or this other gem? Oh well, no worries.

As mentioned before, Lecce is pretty poor. They don’t have much going for them other than Bikerman Caserta. Furthermore, they’ll be missing some “key” players for the match. Obviously, when you’re a relegation suspect, a “key” player most likely means a guy who can dribble and shoot with both feet. I kid, I kid! Out for sure are Daniele Cacia, Giacomazzi (remember him?) Ariatti and Esposito (not Mauro, the other one). Those in doubt seem to be Konan and Stendardo. It seems as though De Canio is leaning towards a 3-5-2 but one can’t be certain for sure. That said, here’s my Gazzetta’s lineup for them.

Probable Lineup:
Rosati; Stendardo, Fabiano, Schiavi; Antunes, Ardito, Zanchetta, Caserta, Munari; Tiribocchi, Castillo

A Disposizione
Benussi, Polenghi, Giuliatto, Basta, Edinho, Vives, Papadopoulos

Categorical Matchup

Marky Mark vs. Meh: Palermo. Marco has to redeem himself in front of the fans, but there’s no doubt he is a better all-around keeper than Rosati…even with one arm.

Pretty Boys vs. Pretty Awful: Palermo. Even without the ogre Moris, we still have a dominant edge at home with Kjaer and Bovo partnering up. Lecce’s defense has let up the third most goals in the league (41).

Aladdin & the Muppets vs. The Bikerman Gang: Palermo. The midfield had a good game last week with even Bobby Goblin playing well (note: sign of the apocalypse)! Lecce has a loaded midfield led by the ex-rosanero Caserta, but Palermo should have an edge in this category especially with Nocerino and Miggy providing appropriate cover on the flanks. It’s a bit defensive, but then again, it’s not like we have Lanzafame or Jankovic to come off the bench for some offensive push now eh?

Fast & Ugly vs. Toothless Attack: Palermo. All you need to know is this: Lecce haven’t scored in over 486 minutes of calcio.

Final Analysis
Miccoli will be facing his beloved hometown club tomorrow. I don’t see much motivation to score from him, but the rest of the team should be just fine. Then again, considering performances, Miccoli might want to put in some effort tomorrow otherwise he might be sold to Lecce at the end of the season and just in time for Serie B. This is the final push. Regardless of the past, we got to have the boys look forward and play every game like a playoff. Remember, the categorical matchups all point to a win for us, yet this team is maddeningly inconsistent. It’s time to change that and it starts with bringing a solid 3 points tomorrow.

Form Guide

Palermo
WDLLW

Lecce
LLLLD

Prediction
2-0. Cavani, Simplicio

Cavani!

If any of you have heard the song Novembre by Giusy Ferreri, you’ll enjoy this little tribute to Cavani based off the same tune (minus the guy who sounds like he has a cold).

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Roma – Palermo

Overview:

It might have been those funky smellin’ sausages at dinner last night, but I’d rather think it was the game that made me use two rolls of TP last night. It’s been a long time since I a) saw such an ugly game, and b) got so pissed off at one of our players that I wanted to kick his face in trough the TV. I just don’t Ballardini sometimes. Hasn’t Guana disappointed him enough? I don’t know how many chances this humongous waste of flesh is gonna get from Balla.

Overall, I wasn’t too unhappy with the way we played and with the result. It’s not from these big budget underperformers that we have to take points. It’s from teams like Genoa and Napoli that we need to. Were there chances to win? Absolutely. Were there chances to get beaten 5-1? Absolutely. In the end, this game will (hopefully, but not likely) show the team that they need to step up once more and that we still have a long way to go before we can battle the likes of Levski Sofia, Lokomotiv Plovdiv and AA Gent.

Pagelle:

AMELIA: 6. Should’ve done better at the 2-1, was beaten by Carroz’ on the first.
CASSANI: 6.5. Plays great every week without being a match changer.
CARROZZIERI: 7. Unlucky when Roma made the 1-0, but manages to get every ball out of his area. The Wall.
BOVO: 6.5. Did well once more, but needs to get just that little better to be unmissable. Should fear Kjaer.
SAVINI: 5.5. Isn’t Balza, and isn’t Crapuano. Good defender, lousy attacker.
MIGLIACCIO: 6. Miggs = pure heart. Too bad Ginger Spice kicked him off.
NOCERINO: 6.5. One of his best games so far. True warrior.
LIVERANI: 6.5. Is in no way the same player as in the beginning of the season. Another fantastic assist. Seems like he’s playing for the shirt these days.
GUANA: Va scassaci la minchia, pezzo di merda.
BRESCIANO: 6. Not La Statua.
SIMPLICIO: 6. Not the Simplicio we’re used to.
SUCCI: 5. Came in, sucked away. As usual.
CAVANI: 7. Well-deserved goal, MOTM once more.
LEVAN: 7. Unbelievable that this kid doesn’t get more PT. Came in and caused danger. He’s a keeper.

Giornata 21’s Androberto Guarraciolo Award:

Midfield Minchia.

Highlights:

Fuck it. There weren’t any.

The Randomness.

And yes, there’s other news too. First of all there’s Marco Amelia. You know him, because when he was at Livorno he once said that it would hurt him to see Roma lose against Livorno. Well, last night, Marco said that it felt fantastic to see ‘the good Roma’ back in action. And that ain’t words to say if you’re playing for Palermo.

Added to that is the rumour that Manchester City would be after Mercenary Marco. Dubai FC is said to have made a 15 million euro bid, but Zampa said no. If a + 25 million offer was to come in, I hope Zampa goes for the cash.

And then there’s transfers…we’re still after Bogliaccino, and a deal is expected. But the big news seems to be the fact that we might field a full Uruguayan attack soon. Some sites like Mediagol already confrim Abel Hernandez’ arrival from Penarol for 5 million, others like Tuttomercatoweb say that it’s close. Still, signing an extra striker would be good to backup Miccoli and send Succi to the gulag.

And last but not least: Basel’s youngster Michel Morganella is said to sign a deal today in exchange for 4 million euro. Seems like we might send Guana along with Succi.

Sunday, January 18th, 2009 15.00
Stadio Marassi, Genova

Preview

Hm. Crazy week, although nothing really happened. The ASS Roma Daffyd Thomas Poofter Club finally passed us in the standings, and that after 18 games in Serie A. Reports in the Eternal City have warned that supermarkets have completely run out of their year’s supply of Vaseline and KY, and that 84% of the male population is suffering from Gaping Asshole Syndrome. In the meantime, we still haven’t signed a proper player. A 17-year old from Eccellenza might be a move for the future, but he’s not going to put Capuano on the bench. Rumours are spreading about a Portugese reinforcement, but that could also easily be Zampa’s new crush suffering from hair on her back.

So we came away from the Atalanta game pretty much unharmed. Miccoli is in dubio for Sunday, but we didn’t get any other casualties or red cards. With Balzaretti coming back, the left flank will once again be shit-free. The opponent is coming at us at the right time. Sampdoria just ‘beat us’ to the signature of Pazzini, got fucked over by Julio Baptista (who had taken over Menez’ role as the subject of ‘you gotta go now’-comments by the Roma-‘fans’, but now will be given the key to the city and Totti’s Hairy Backdoor Bonanza-collection on Saturday) and have seen Jonathan Bottinelli return to Argentina because of family problems. Aside from that, we also need to take revenge for the 3-0 beating the Doriani gave us last year.

Squad Status

Palermo

Bovo and Balzaretti return, so that means the bench for Kjaer and a bullet for Capuano. Miccoli is likely to return just in time for the game, but if not, his replacement can be found in Succi, the poor man’s Andrea Carraciolo. For the rest, not much will change as the midfield is like Skull & Bones: almost impossible to get in from the outside.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Carrozzieri, Bovo, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Liverani, Bresciano; Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

Sampdoria

The Samp Offside is as dead as Brett Michaels’ self-respect. Pazzini will most likely remain on the bench, as Bellucci and Cassano will start. Stankevicius is without a doubt the weakest link in this team. In the game against Standard he made 3 errors, resulting in a 3-0 defeat, and hasn’t recovered since then.

Probable Lineup:
Castellazzi; Lucchini, Gastaldello, Accardi; Stankevicius, Delvecchio, Palombo, Franceschini, Pieri; Bellucci, Cassano

Categorical Matchup

Soccer Mom vs. So and So: Palermo. Castellazzi can sometime come out as a Primavera-player, while Marco is on top of his game right now.

Bash Brothers Reunited vs. 3 of a Kind: Push. Don’t know. Our defense isn’t the strongest when guys return from suspension, but the threeway in the back on the other side isn’t the most secure either.

Bald-Beard-Brown-Bashir vs. Day to Day: Palermo. Our midfield acted like they always should in last week’s game. Too bad it isn’t always like that. Sampdoria has a powerful midfield, but with Stankevicius and Delvecchio not playing at top level, there may be options.

He’s getting there vs. Acne-Man: Push. If Micco plays, we have a chance. Cassano is dangerous, but in the last 5 games we bagged twice as much goals as Samp.

Final Analysis

This could go both ways. One: Samp have had enough of the bad games, the lack of goals and the two straight defeats at the Marassi, and will want to turn things back to normal. Added to that is our miserable form away from home. Two: Palermo will want to show that they deserve more than that mid-table position and will tear up the Samp-defense. We score a lot these days, and without Capuano we seems to be able to not let a lot of balls go past Amelia.

Form Guide

Palermo
WLWLW

Sampdoria
LWLDL

Previous Encounters:

Dunno.

Prediction
1-2.

MOTM:

Miccoli, for showing up.

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Preview

Well, do I need to explain what happened last week? No. In fact, I think somebody, ANYBODY owes US an explanation for the highway robbery that took place in Cagliari. You would’ve thought that Ray Charles was reffing the game with his assistant Stevie Wonder. If that were the case, then they’d have an excuse. Nonetheless, the loss at Cagliari was just another series of “misfortunate” events for Palermo this year. Of course, the powers that be claim there is no problem. Others say that these things even out over the course of a season. Yet, the likelihood of us making up even half of the points we lost as a result of the officiating is about as realistic as Liverani beating Usain Bolt in a 100 meter dash.

Palermo has reached the breaking point. The president, the team and the city as a whole are fed up with this atrocity called “officiating”. In fact, the fans are standing behind Zamparini’s impassioned assault on the talking heads who are making the decisions. The tifosi have made shirts that say “Io sto con Zamparini” to express their solidarity behind the President and club.

So, with all that, Palermo returns back home to the fiery atmosphere of the Barbera. I suspect the fans will be louder than ever as the rosanero try to bag a full 3 points away from another team with unique unoriginal jerseys. The question is, how will the squad respond to last week’s events?

Siena has been fantastic and unbeaten at home. However, on the road, it’s a different story: 1 win, 1 draw and 6 losses. The goal for Siena this year has to been avoid relegation; their surprising results really don’t change that goal – it just merely gives them some breathing room that they haven’t had in years past. Therefore, Palermo need to take the full three points…for a number of reasons: 1) We’re still only 3 points out of Europe; 2) we need to keep up with the pack; 3) we need to get over the unjust defeat from a week ago; 4) we need to produce results against the lesser sides of Serie A; and 5) IT’S SIENA: The bianconero that doesn’t command respect much like Roma isn’t one of the “bigs” in Serie A.

Squad Status

Palermo

From what I can tell (the “convocati” have not been named yet), Palermo will only be missing our main man “Eyebrows” Miccoli (Budan doesn’t count). And the word “only” is obviously intended sarcasm. After the match against Cagliari, Miccoli said some things that hurt the ref Banti’s feelings. Banti didn’t like it very much and forgot about the old adage that Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. So, of course, we found out several days later that Miccoli was banned for not one, but TWO games for talking. I’m sure Vieri has said worse things to a dirty, 53 year old hooker that received a softer penalty. Just add that to the growing list of absurdities towards our club. So, who will be pairing up with Cavani up front? Furthermore, will Lanzafame see more than 3 minutes and 21 seconds on the pitch?

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Carrozzieri, Bovo, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Liverani, Bresciano, Simplicio; Cavani, Succi (?)

Siena

I believe Matthew of La Robur could have a preview up in time for the game. Basically, all I can say is “Calaiò”…because he’s our boy from Palermo. He’s not starting…but considering their options in attack are about as initimidating as a 12 year old boy just hitting puberty, they might as well give Emanuele an opportunity to start.

Probable Lineup:
Curci; Zuniga, Rossettini, Portanova, Del Grosso; Vergassola, Coppola, Galloppa; Kharja; Ghezzal, Maccarone

Categorical Matchup

Playstation vs. Roman Waste: Palermo. The Roman by-product couldn’t even unseat Doni! That should tell you enough right there. However, he did make some impressive saves last week to keep the Napoli scoreline seem closer than the game actually was. Meanwhile, Amelia is finally coming around.

Braveheart & Bovo vs. Who?: Palermo. Siena has given up 12 goals away from home. They have a great defense by statistical standards, but then again, much of that is due to their success at home. Guess what? We’re playing IN Palermo! Expect Moris & Co. to feast on the toothless Siena attack…unless, of course, some sort of penalty is magically awarded as seems to be custom against Palermo these days.

Fozzy, 2 & a Magic Carpet Ride vs. ‘Ola, ‘Ola, ‘Oppa!: Palermo. Once more, Palermo’s midfield is at full strength. Yes, we have Liverani…who statistically passes the ball often and on-target but we all know stats don’t tell the whole story. Siena’s midfield is as exciting as taking a Physics exam.

No Eyebrows! vs. Impotence & Arab Virgins: Push. We don’t have Miccoli running around wreaking havoc and firing laser beams on goal. We have Cavani running around…alot…and working hard…but not reaping the benefits as consistently as we’d like. Luckily, Siena’s attack could use a subscription to Cialis. They just can’t seem to get it up…I mean, in the back of the net. It’ll be interesting to see who gets on the scoresheet.

Final Analysis

This game is basically a must win. Points at home are vital. While only one point separates us from Siena, we’re also within striking distance of Europe. All we need to do is find a goal from somewhere and someone. Siena should not be causing that many problems for our defence. Palermo should take comfort in the fact that they’re at home – even without the magic of Miccoli, three points should not be out of the question.

Form Guide

Palermo
LLDWL

Siena
LDLWL

Prediction
1-0. Moris.

MOTM:

Moris Carrozzieri

Remembering the Good Times

FORZA PALERMO!

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

As I’m off for the weekend from friday, Lorenzo will be doing this weeks preview. But I wanted to leave you guys with this: Massihomo Cellino is angry. The Cagliari Crazy Clown was not amused by Zamparini’s comments after Sundays charade.

After hitting out at the retard in fluorescent yellow, the fat bloke in charge of the Lega Calcio and that bald jizzlubber at the head of the retards commission, Zampa found the time right to hit out at Cellino. A brief impression: Zampa said that the vice-president of the Lega Calcio clearly had a hand in last Sunday’s game, and that the likes of Antonio Giraudo and Luciano Moggi are still present in Italian football. The man he was speaking about, is Cellino. And now the goatlovin’ homo’s from Pirate’s Island are boo-hoo:

“”Le espressioni utilizzate dal Sig. Zamparini, probabilmente frutto del rammarico derivante dalla sconfitta contro una Società ritenuta “provinciale”, appaiono di pessimo gusto, censurabili e comunque non aderenti minimamente alla realtà dei fatti.

Pertanto, pur rinnovando la stima nei confronti del Sig. Zamparini, certi che si sia trattato di uno sfogo dovuto esclusivamente al risultato negativo, la Goatfuckers Calcio S.p.A. ed il suo Presidente, Dott. Massihomo Cellino, esprimono grande rammarico per le dichiarazioni espresse, invitando il Presidente del club rosanero a rettificare quanto affermato, nel contempo porgendo le proprie scuse alla scrivente Società, e ad i suoi dirigenti e tifosi. “

For all you Romanistas, a small english summary:

“His declarations, probably stemming from the disappointing defeat to a club deemed to be ‘provincial’, were tasteless… and we demand that he issue a retraction and apologize to this club, their directors and the fans.”

As our beloved prez would say:

“Massimo, shut the fuck up.”