Portieri

Marco Amelia
I don’t think ‘bad’ is the word here. ‘Lacking self esteem’ or ‘underachieving’ is more appropriate. In defense of Marco: I think all of us expected just a little too much of him. He might have done better, but let’s not forget he still has to find his way into a top tier-team, and having our sketchy defense in front of him isn’t helping either. Amelia’s not delivering what we expected, but I have a good feeling that things will work out alright. Pagelle: 6

Jimmy Fontana
2008-2009 might just be Jimmy’s season too many. In general, he did a good job, but he’s just not the same Jimmy of last year. He doesn’t feel secure when coming out for a cross, he’s always out of the goal and his reflexes aren’t as good as they used to be. I think he can be a great mentor for Marco and Ujkani, but I strongly believe that his playing days have come to an end. Pagelle:6.

Samir Ujkani
Aah, the great unknown. Is he the future? I don’t know. No one knows. All I know is that he (and Amelia) could be feeling Salvatore Sirigu’s hot breath in their necks. He’s playing another fantastic season, and he just might be the next big thing. Pagelle: none.

Difensori

Ciro Capuano
ShitPants hasn’t played a game all year. That’s good. Pagelle: 10.

Cesare Bovo
It’s a good thing we got him back from Genoa. Him and Moris make one of the most fearsome defensive duos in Serie A. Is in the balance with Kjaer and Moris for the two spots in central defense, but seems to be sure of a starting spot every week. Is great at cleaning up the others’ mess. Pagelle: 7.

Paolo Hernan Dellafiore
Had three starts so far, but hasn’t impressed. Shows a lot of good will, but is in no way a contender for the spot of Bovo, Moris or Kjaer. Lacks confidence, ability to play his way out of trouble and most definitely: strength. Should be loaned out (to another team than Torino) to gain experience, but is needed in case one of the others gets injured. Is still young, but is coming very close to ‘make or break’-time. Pagelle: 5.5

Mattia Cassani
Was almost gone last year, but fought himself back into the team after that awesome screamer against Juve. His place at the right is almost untouchable, but had a setback against Inter, where he was unrecognisable. In my opinion, he’s better than Balzaretti. His crosses are better, and he comes back faster than Balza after an attack. Pagelle: 7.

Simon Kjaer
Surprise of the season so far. He’s young and talented, but we’ll need to look out that we don’t burn him just yet. Lacks the natural talent that other great defenders had, but he just could become the new Cannavaro if we take care of him and surround him with the right people/coaches. Is integrating well and has a powerful header, which makes him dangerous in front of goal as well. Kjaer should know that he’s in one hell of a position: he’s learning the technique from Bovo, and Moris can teach him how to use power in a duel. Pagelle: 8.

Federico Balzaretti
Untouchable at the left, too bad it’s not always because of his own talent. Is a fantastic player, but has been slacking a little bit in the last couple of games. Could benefit from a new left back. When his starting spot isn’t sure anymore, he will remember that he has to work for it as well. Had an absolute shitgame against Torino. Pagelle: 7.

Andrea Raggi
Played two games, both ending in disaster. Was brought in from Empoli as a talented defender, but has shown nothing. Strong contender for the Bidone’d Oro, is expected to be shipped to Torino like the rest of our defensive failures. Pagelle: 3.

Moris Carrozzieri
Least wanted signing before the season started, has fought himself in the hearts of all Palermitani. He’s ugly and as subtle as an atom bomb, but is keeping the defense together almost single-handedly. Looks like Caserta, but is better than Caserta. Pagelle: 7.5

Centrocampisti

Giovanni Tedesco
Four games, 59 minutes. Nonno is nothing more than a mascot, kept around to provide counterweight for the selling of other Palermitani Brienza and Rinaudo. Whenever he’s subbed in, he takes away valuable playing time from youngsters like Lanza. If Balla wants him on the field so bad, he should buy him an Aquile-costume and put him beneath the Curva for the entire game. Pagelle: 4.

Giulio Migliaccio
I don’t really know what to say about Miggy. Is being played out on the wing, but does better in central midfield. The only problem is that he’s barred by The Arab in that position. Has shown good thing, but has also been spotted while sucking away. Needs to find last year’s form again. Pagelle: 6.

Fabio Liverani
I think this one is clear. Every single year, our coach/Blowjobarini has a crush on the worst player in the squad. Guidolin loved Capuano and Guana, Colantuono had Guana and Agliardi and Ballardini has Liverani. Is one of the most experienced players in the team, but looks as if he’s on vacation. Half of his passes are bad or intercepted, couldn’t cross if his life depended on it and never comes back to defend. Should be shot, hung up or stoned to death, whatever it is they do to people in Somalia. Pagelle: 4.

Roberto Guana
Is not Balla’s friend. Should use more tongue and less teeth to regain spot in the starting eleven. Had one start, sucked away. Unless half of the midfield does a Superga, isn’t going to see a lot of PT this season. Pagelle: 4.

Maurizio Ciaramitaro
There’s not a lot to say about Ciara’s 41 minutes so far. It’s good to finally see him in pink, but he’s one of those guys that need a lot more time to develop into the player we need him to be. Was used as a right back in one of his games, which also isn’t helping. Pagelle: 6.

Marco Bresciano
One of this year’s mysteries. After a terrible season last year, he finally seemed to bounce back this year. But the further we get into the season, the more it looks as if Marco’s got some kind of personality crisis. He’s mixing good games with horrible ones, and sometimes can’t seem to control himself. Needs to start focussing, or start packing. Pagelle: 5.5.

Fabio Hernan Simplicio
Player of the season so far. Fozzy is everywhere: comes back to defend, cleans up Liverani’s mess, controls the midfield and is dangerous in the box. Just like Cassani, he was close to being sold but now is the undisputed king of the midfield. If we could just get someone who is an exact copy of Simplicio, we’d be a force to reckon with. Pagelle: 8.5

Antonio Nocerino
Does well, but as Zamparini already said: he’s not really bringing the things we expected him to bring. Maybe there’s too much pressure on him, but he’ll need to realise that this isn’t Juve. Coming in for 25 minutes when the game is already one isn’t going to happen. Has to give his all for 90 minutes. Is sometimes unfairly treated by the referees, but should let his actions speak. Pagelle: 6.5

Attacanti

Edison Cavani
Started out like the Cavani we all know, but then had an excellent spell with 4 goals. Too bad he morphed back to the old Cavani right after that. Is working hard, but doesn’t contribute enough goals and/or assists to remain undisputed. Has to know that his ass might be the first to get benched when Igor Budan is fully recovered from his injuries. Pagelle: 6.5

Fabrizio Miccoli
Not to jinx it, but Mighty Mouse is holding out fine. Is always complaining about little injuries, but is there when matchday comes. Scored six goals, but his source seems to have dried out now. That, of course, is also caused by the lack of good passes coming trough the midfield. Is becoming a team hero, but will have to work hard to make us forget Amauri. Pagelle: 7.5

Davide Succi
Became the lead actor in this year’s ‘Candid Camera Turns Real’-show. 88 minutes so far, isn’t likely to get more. Might be shipped off to Lucchese or Gela in January. Pagelle: 3.

Igor Budan
Four times subbed in, an hour of playing time. Needs to start 2-3 games to regain his Parma-form, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Pagelle: none.

Davide Lanzafame
Is in the same situation as Budan, but his fate is in his own hands. Needs to show Ballardini that he deserves a starting spot, and not just sit back and wait for it to be handed to him. Pagelle: 6.

Levan Mchedlidze
Came back injured from an international fixture and hasn’t played since, but did give us the game against Juve. Shows potential, but needs to grow. Pagelle: 6.5

Now you know my feeling about our players. As for the team, I’ll make it short. We need some reinforcements in all areas. Maybe Ujkani should be loaned out and Sirigu brought back to give Amelia some more competition, we need a new back, a good winger and central midfielder, and of course a powerful striker. Not another kid that gets pushed away by the likes of Walter Samuel and Philippe Mexes.

So, what do we have left then? First of all, there’s the signing of Fabio Liverani, our first semi-Somalian ever. And our ugliest player until now?

Then, there’s the Amauri-transfer. Finally finished, bringing Nocerino AND Lanzafame to Palermo. Lanza has been swallowing his previous comments, and had this to say yesterday:

“Il Palermo è una grande squadra con un progetto ambizioso. Sono molto contento del buon esito della trattativa, più del successo a Tolone con l’Olimpica. Ho già parlto con il mister che si è mostrato molto contento del mio arrivo: sa già come impiegarmi. Vorrei che la stagione iniziasse domani.”

The Cavani-to-Lazio-for-Behrami soap has taken a new turn. Lazio is now interested in Miccoli. Too bad for Lazio, Miccoli ain’t going nowhere.

More transfer targets:

* Salvatore Aronica, who said he’s ready to leave Reggina. We’ll be fighting Lazio for him.

* Simone ‘The Beast’ Loria. Another ex-Atalanta player, and really good to replace Pusszagli.

* Marco Amelia, still.

Oh yeah, and Bresciano’s talking to Fulham. Get.The. Fuck. Out. Already.

Overview

This is it. The last game of the season at home. The tifosi rosanero will look to salute players who are playing at the Renzo Barbera for the last time in a Palermo jersey. Among the players who are 100% certain to leave are the legend Amauri, Zaccardo, Barzagli and even Emo’tino (at least to get more experience before coming back). It is hard to see these guys leave (well, 3 out of the 4 at least…).

There has been alot of debate concerning who will wear the captain’s armband for the final home game. Obviously, Barzagli has been the “captain” this season, but he hasn’t displayed any of the qualities. Seeing as he’s also leaving at the end of the season, the question of who should wear the armband for the final game has been a tad difficult. During the course of the week, every player who has been interviewed has been asked the question. Colantuono addressed the situation yesterday and said there’s a possibility Amauri could wear the armband. The public has been actively calling for Amauri to be captain, but as of right now it’s still up in the air. Everyone of us would agree that Amauri has been our leader and “captain” this year. He’s given his heart to this club and has not given up at any point this season. The honor of “capitano” should be bestowed upon him if not for this one and only time. In fact, on Thursday, around 100 fans showed up during Palermo’s training and unveiled a banner written in Portugese thanking Amauri for all he’s done for Palermo. He will surely be missed.

The club also still has hopes for a chance at Europe via the Intertoto Cup as we trail Genoa by 2 points with two games to go. It’s amazing to think that after how awful this season has been, there is still a chance we could qualify for Europe. It would be an amazing way to end the season and certainly prove that The Suit should have never been sacked earlier this year. Nonetheless, this game has a good deal of importance for Palermo, its players and its fans.

Squad Status

Palermo

Palermo will be without Bresciano for sure. The interesting thing here is that there are alot of doubts as to the lineup Colantuono will field. In fact, Barzagli and Zaccardo might not even start, according to The Suit. That would effectively end the debate as to who would be captain. However, I have a difficult time believing that we would sit Zacca and Barza even for a half given that Intertoto is still a possibility. Nonetheless, Biava and Cassani would fill in their places. The other questions regarding the lineup are the spots in the midfield between Miggy and the Retard and Bikerman and Cavani. It seems as Miggy and Bikerman have the advantage over the other two – good. Once again, we will be employing the 4-2-3-1.

Probable Lineup:
Agliardi; Zaccardo, Barzagli, Rinaudo, Balzaretti; Simplicio, Migliaccio; Jankovic, Miccoli, Caserta; Amauri

Bench:
Super Fontana; Emo’tino, Cassani, Biava; Di Matteo, Guana, Nonno Tedesco; Çani, Carbonaro, Cavani

Sampdoria

For more on Sampdoria and their lineup, go visit Sampdoria’s Offside page. Oh wait, that’s right…they don’t have one. I guess I’ll have to fill in then. Samp will be without Castellazzi, Volpi, Kalu and Lucchini. Now that they’ve lost out on a CL spot and have already qualified for UEFA, this game is a tad meaningless for them. Nonetheless, Mazzarri’s side will use a 3-5-2 with Palermitano Accardi making a return back to his city of birth.

Probable Lineup:
Mirante; Gastaldello, Sala, Accardi; Maggio, Sammarco, Palombo, Franceschini, Pieri; Cassano, Bellucci

Bench:
Fiorillo; Miglionico, Campagnaro; Delvecchio, Zenoni, Ziegler; Bonazzoli, Montella

Categorical Matchup

“I’m Getting Better” Agliardi vs. Mirante: Sampdoria. Agliardi has been showing improvement over the last couple of games, giving us all hope that he isn’t as bad as we thought. Although, all it takes is one stupid slip up to have him dash our hopes against the rocks. Mirante has been solid in goal all season, for the most part.

Farewell Party vs. Blucerchiato Three Party: Palermo. The same can be said about Palermo’s defense as was said about Agliardi. The back line has been showing better signs as of late. You’d have to expect the troops to be rallied at the back in front of the home fans for one last time this season. I expect a strong, motivated performance from the defense…although, half of them are leaving the team after the remaining two games. So, hopefully, they’ll want to leave a final good impression for us. Except Barzagli. He’s like the Luca Toni of our backline…without the skill. Good riddance.

Keep the Turd on the Bench! vs. 5-Headed Monster: Push. Hey, if we can keep Guana on the bench, I’m liking our midfield. But you never know…he somehow finds his way onto the pitch. I swear, he must have some blackmail on the club so that they HAVE to play him every game otherwise he’ll release this “information” to the public. How else can you explain his appearance in 30 games this season (would’ve been more if he hadn’t been injured or suspended)? Samp’s midfield has been pretty darn good this season and the results have proved it. The big question, though, is: are they up for this meaningless game? If not, expect Palermo to take advantage.

Il Vero Capitano vs. “I am a freaking maniac who should be kept away from women and children…and my own self”: Palermo. Come on. You really think that Sampdoria is going to have the edge in this category over a determined Amauri who will possibly be wearing the captain’s band?! Besides, the Psychopath otherwise known as Cassano will find something to freak out about even if this is a meaningless game for his side.

Final Analysis

Palermo still has something to play for. Sampdoria does not. Amauri wants to give Palermo and their fans one last chance to celebrate at home this year. The rest of the squad would very much like to do the same thing (well, except for Barzagli…he’s already day-dreaming about trying on that hideous purple jacket Prandelli wears every once in awhile. What he doesn’t realize, though, is that he’ll be teammates with Zaccardo again in the Bundesliga with Wolfsburg!). I expect this team to play with grit and determination, and the result at the end of the game will give us another 3 points and keep our Intertoto “dreams” alive.

Form Guide

Palermo
06/04 Palermo-Juventus 3-2 W
12/04 Palermo-Catania 1-0 W
19/04 Fiorentina-Palermo 1-0 L
27/04 Palermo-Atalanta 0-0 D
04/05 Lazio-Palermo 1-2 W

Sampdoria
06/04 Sampdoria-Livorno 2-0 W
13/04 Reggina-Sampdoria 1-0 L
20/04 Sampdoria-Udinese 3-0 W
27/04 Fiorentina-Sampdoria 2-2 D
04/05 Sampdoria-Roma 0-3 L

Prediction

2-1. Amauri, Bellucci, Amauri.

MOTM

Amauri.

Co-MOTM?

Steven – hey, it’s his birthday on Sunday. The least Palermo can do is give him a win!

FORZA PALERMO!

Squad Status

Palermo

Palermo will be without Zaccardo due to suspension and “Bikerman” Caserta and “Cyranose” Biava who sustained some injuries during the week. Most likely, The Suit will employ the 4-2-3-1 again this week, even though he’s been thinking about the 4-4-2.

Probable Line-up:
Agliardi; Cassani, Barzagli, Rinaudo, Balzaretti; Guana, Migliaccio; Jankovic, Miccoli, Bresciano; Amauri

Bench:
Super Fontana; Emo’tino, Romeo (no joke…that’s his name); Di Matteo, Simplicio, Nonno Tedesco; Çani, Carbonaro, Cavani

Lazio

Man, looks like they’ve taken a hit for players as there are a bunch of doubts for their lineup tomorrow. Most recently, it looks like the man who makes Nonno Tedesco look like a picciriddu – Marco Ballotta, is out for tomorrow. Joining him are Rocchi, Radu, Behrami, Diakite, Dabo and Siviglia. Do they have anyone left to play this match? Apparently, they have found players to play tomorrow…so, I guess that counts for something. They will incorporate the ol’ 4-3-1-2.

Probable Line-Up:
Muslera; Zauri, Rozenhal, Cribari, Kolarov; Mutarelli, Ledesma, Manfredini; Meghni; Pandev, Tare

Bench:
Berni, De Silvestri, Mudingayi, Vignaroli, Mauri, Del Nero, Bianchi

Categorical Matchup

Aiutami! Agliardi vs. Fernando Muslim Muslera: Palermo. Let’s face it, Agliardi hasn’t exactly been a wall of confidence back there. However, he has played pretty darn well as of late. He’s made some nice saves and looks to be gaining some of that confidence he certainly has lacked. Muslera, on the other hand, is young and relatively inexperienced. He’s given up 12 goals in 7 games this year. He has some upside though, just not this year.

Leaky Pipes vs. Swiss Cheese: Palermo. The defense has been playing somewhat better and Biava is out. Add to that is the return of Rinaudo and on paper, it looks like we only have a few leaks here and there. Plus, we have Emo’tino on the bench…he’ll try not to cut himself while awaiting a sub into the game…(I kid!). Lazio’s defense hasn’t exactly been that good this year. They’ve given up 48 goals to Palermo’s 52. However, I’m giving Palermo the edge here because Lazio is employing what looks to be a second team backline as they prepare for their semi-final game against Inter.

Baldies + 2 vs. the M Squad + Ledesma: Push. Guana. That’s it. Guana. He’s most likely starting and as long as we have him on the field running around like a schizo, our midfield will hurt because of it. Plus, Lazio’s midfield is decent. They’re not using possible transfer target Behrami tomorrow (who, just might be one of the weirdest looking dudes in all of Serie A.

Amaurinho vs. the Foreign Legion: Palermo. Amaurinho is only with us for a few more games before he goes to most likely Rubentus and Champions League glory. That being said, he’s looking to give Palermo some gifts before he leaves in the form of magical goals like he scored against the aformentioned Rubentini. I will take him over the duo of Tare and Pandev any day. Pandev is solid, while Tare is old. And his hair is ridiculously blonde – so much so that you almost need to sport sunglasses to watch him play. So, yeah. Amauri is King.

Final Analysis

Neither team really has anything to play for anymore this season. Mathematically, Palermo can still make the Intertoto, but it’ll take some mighty fine luck to achieve that. Lazio has the Coppa Italia still, so they’re already looking to the midweek game. Thus, it comes down to pride and performance for next season for both teams’ players and coaches. Seeing as Lazio still has somewhat of a distraction with the midweek game and a chance at silverware, Palermo has a good chance at coming away with a win.

Form Guide

Palermo
30/03 Napoli-Palermo 1-0 L
06/04 Palermo-Juventus 3-2 W
12/04 Palermo-Catania 1-0 W
19/04 Fiorentina-Palermo 1-0 L
27/04 Palermo-Atalanta 0-0 D

Lazio
29/03 Lazio-Inter 1-1 D
06/04 Parma-Lazio 2-2 D
13/04 Lazio-Siena 1-1 D
20/04 Catania-Lazio 1-0 L
27/04 Juventus-Lazio 5-2 L

Prediction

3-1. Amauri, Amauri, Amauri, Bianchi.

MOTM

Amauri.

FORZA PALERMO!!!!!!