Sunday, September 20th, 2009 15.00
Stadio Tardini, Parma

I warriors, brigate rosanero, siamo forti e vinceremo!

Preview

Yeah, that’s right, two consecutive Budan opening pictures. What’s there to say about this game? First off, I don’t think I need to remind you guys of the importance of this duel. Both teams have gathered four points from three games, which isn’t bad for Parma but is near disastrous for us. The only result that is acceptable here is a win. But that was also the only acceptable result versus Bari AT HOME. And we all know how that one went. So, if this team has any selfrespect and love for la maglia, then a good performance and win in Parma is demanded.

Parma, on the other hand, have been keen on taking over the Palermo II role from Torino in recent times. With transfer target Dzemaili and former Palermitani Zaccardo, Ale Lucarelli, Stefano Morrone, Davide Lanzafame, Hernan Dellafiore AND Mister Guidolin, playing Parma is like kissing your cousin. She might look hot, but things just don’t seem right.

On our side, there’s also some former Prosciutto Power: Bresciano, Simplicio and Budan all came to Palermo from Parma, and I’m really counting on the last one to prove to his former team that last season was a one time scenario.

Squad Status

Palermo

Liverani and Hernandez are still out, but we might see the return of Signore Miggy. The big surprise would be the possible starting spot for Budan, who might replace Cavani. It’s a big gamble, but you never know if Budan suddenly turns out to be the scoring machine we missed ever since Toni left.

Lots of doubt in midfield, where Bresciano (please no!) and Simplicio and Nocerino and Bertolo will battle for two starting spots next to Blasi and the quasi untouchable Pastore. Bovo still in central defense, which blows.

Parma

The Parma Offside might give you more information, but all I know is that Dzemaili and Lanza will start off the bench, and Bojinov isn’t fit enough to be included in the team.

Categorical Matchup

Sketchybrow vs. A Little More Secure: Push. I’m still not convinced, although Rubinho did show some nice moves last week. Maybe Parma could be the game to start shining?

The 1995 Berlin Wall vs. This Is What An Ending Career Looks Like: Palermo. Last week’s defending was pretty iffy to say the least. Bovo is unreliable, and Balza was unable to cope with the constant threath of an extra player, thanks to Bresciano. On the other side of the field there’s a lot of players trying to revive their career or reaching the end of it slowly.

We’re Not So Sure Who To Play vs. Midtable: Palermo. If we can keep Bresciano off the field, this one should always be ours. Midfield looks to be the weakest link in Parma’s team.

Biggie Smalls v. Young Guns: Parma. Uh? Parma? Why is that? Because Miccoli still hasn’t found the net, Budan will need to prove his qualities and Biabiabiabia and Paloschi are a fuckin’ dangerous duo.

Last Five Games

Palermo: WLD
Parma: DWL

Final Analysis

I’m always afraid of doing this. Whenever I get cocky, we lose. Whenever I predict a loss, we draw. I’m not doing this now, too important.

Prediction

2-2. Budan, Budan, Paloschi, Paloschi. Zenga gets the sack, Zampa picks a B-list coach like Baldini over guys like Spalletti or Serse Cosmi and our season is already over before it starts.

MOTM:

Budan.

Remembering the Good Times

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Preview

Well, here we are again in a similar situation that we’ve already been in about 3,464,342 times this season. The past two games have been dramatically different and both have been definitely unexpected. Palermo come into this game at home against our “cousins” from Lecce. Right now, the club has experienced some strange times – including Zamparini talking like a sane man – but then again, it could just be the medication he’s on. At least he’s not making the same wreckless statements that he’s known for, although he seems to have passed those duties onto Nonno. The boys in pink have A LOT to do in this game in order to win back the tifosi (and rightfully so).

The time is now to start winning games against teams that deserve to be beaten – especially in front of our own tifosi. I am more than confident that if our boys don’t come out with grit and determination, the tifosi will let them hear it. All I can say is that this team has provided more head-scratching moments than Paula Abdul on American Idol. There’s nothing more to say other than Palermo MUST win tomorrow, especially given our opponents current condition. End of story.

So, Lecce. Pretty bad season so far, but that’s to be expected from a freshly promoted side. They sit in 2nd to last from the drop on only 23 points. The abysmal performances have led to Mario Beretta being sacked last week after a stale 0-0 draw against fellow relegated relegation and last place side Reggina. With that said, Gigi De Canio will be in charge of his first game as the new Lecce coach against the rosanero.

Squad Status

Palermo

Ballardini has called up 19 players to face Lecce. Those missing out on the draw are the Aussie, Igor Boo-Boo, Moris the Barbarian, Bobby Goblin and of course, Fontana. Although there has been a lot of speculation coming out of the Palermo camp about a trident of Cavani, Miccoli and Hernandez in training, you’d have to think that Davide will stick to his usual lineup of 4-3-1-2. Good news is that Sneeze is finally back and will be on the bench.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Kjaer, Bovo, Balzaretti; Migliaccio, Liverani, Nocerino, Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

A Disposizione:
Ujkani, Morganella, Savini, Nonno, Abel Hernandez, Succi, Sneeze

Lecce

Normally, here’s where I’d send you over to the Lecce page, but considering the erratic nature of the blog over there, I think I might just try to handle this myself. I mean, anybody remember Saint Antonio or this other gem? Oh well, no worries.

As mentioned before, Lecce is pretty poor. They don’t have much going for them other than Bikerman Caserta. Furthermore, they’ll be missing some “key” players for the match. Obviously, when you’re a relegation suspect, a “key” player most likely means a guy who can dribble and shoot with both feet. I kid, I kid! Out for sure are Daniele Cacia, Giacomazzi (remember him?) Ariatti and Esposito (not Mauro, the other one). Those in doubt seem to be Konan and Stendardo. It seems as though De Canio is leaning towards a 3-5-2 but one can’t be certain for sure. That said, here’s my Gazzetta’s lineup for them.

Probable Lineup:
Rosati; Stendardo, Fabiano, Schiavi; Antunes, Ardito, Zanchetta, Caserta, Munari; Tiribocchi, Castillo

A Disposizione
Benussi, Polenghi, Giuliatto, Basta, Edinho, Vives, Papadopoulos

Categorical Matchup

Marky Mark vs. Meh: Palermo. Marco has to redeem himself in front of the fans, but there’s no doubt he is a better all-around keeper than Rosati…even with one arm.

Pretty Boys vs. Pretty Awful: Palermo. Even without the ogre Moris, we still have a dominant edge at home with Kjaer and Bovo partnering up. Lecce’s defense has let up the third most goals in the league (41).

Aladdin & the Muppets vs. The Bikerman Gang: Palermo. The midfield had a good game last week with even Bobby Goblin playing well (note: sign of the apocalypse)! Lecce has a loaded midfield led by the ex-rosanero Caserta, but Palermo should have an edge in this category especially with Nocerino and Miggy providing appropriate cover on the flanks. It’s a bit defensive, but then again, it’s not like we have Lanzafame or Jankovic to come off the bench for some offensive push now eh?

Fast & Ugly vs. Toothless Attack: Palermo. All you need to know is this: Lecce haven’t scored in over 486 minutes of calcio.

Final Analysis
Miccoli will be facing his beloved hometown club tomorrow. I don’t see much motivation to score from him, but the rest of the team should be just fine. Then again, considering performances, Miccoli might want to put in some effort tomorrow otherwise he might be sold to Lecce at the end of the season and just in time for Serie B. This is the final push. Regardless of the past, we got to have the boys look forward and play every game like a playoff. Remember, the categorical matchups all point to a win for us, yet this team is maddeningly inconsistent. It’s time to change that and it starts with bringing a solid 3 points tomorrow.

Form Guide

Palermo
WDLLW

Lecce
LLLLD

Prediction
2-0. Cavani, Simplicio

Cavani!

If any of you have heard the song Novembre by Giusy Ferreri, you’ll enjoy this little tribute to Cavani based off the same tune (minus the guy who sounds like he has a cold).

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Preview

Well, do I need to explain what happened last week? No. In fact, I think somebody, ANYBODY owes US an explanation for the highway robbery that took place in Cagliari. You would’ve thought that Ray Charles was reffing the game with his assistant Stevie Wonder. If that were the case, then they’d have an excuse. Nonetheless, the loss at Cagliari was just another series of “misfortunate” events for Palermo this year. Of course, the powers that be claim there is no problem. Others say that these things even out over the course of a season. Yet, the likelihood of us making up even half of the points we lost as a result of the officiating is about as realistic as Liverani beating Usain Bolt in a 100 meter dash.

Palermo has reached the breaking point. The president, the team and the city as a whole are fed up with this atrocity called “officiating”. In fact, the fans are standing behind Zamparini’s impassioned assault on the talking heads who are making the decisions. The tifosi have made shirts that say “Io sto con Zamparini” to express their solidarity behind the President and club.

So, with all that, Palermo returns back home to the fiery atmosphere of the Barbera. I suspect the fans will be louder than ever as the rosanero try to bag a full 3 points away from another team with unique unoriginal jerseys. The question is, how will the squad respond to last week’s events?

Siena has been fantastic and unbeaten at home. However, on the road, it’s a different story: 1 win, 1 draw and 6 losses. The goal for Siena this year has to been avoid relegation; their surprising results really don’t change that goal – it just merely gives them some breathing room that they haven’t had in years past. Therefore, Palermo need to take the full three points…for a number of reasons: 1) We’re still only 3 points out of Europe; 2) we need to keep up with the pack; 3) we need to get over the unjust defeat from a week ago; 4) we need to produce results against the lesser sides of Serie A; and 5) IT’S SIENA: The bianconero that doesn’t command respect much like Roma isn’t one of the “bigs” in Serie A.

Squad Status

Palermo

From what I can tell (the “convocati” have not been named yet), Palermo will only be missing our main man “Eyebrows” Miccoli (Budan doesn’t count). And the word “only” is obviously intended sarcasm. After the match against Cagliari, Miccoli said some things that hurt the ref Banti’s feelings. Banti didn’t like it very much and forgot about the old adage that Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. So, of course, we found out several days later that Miccoli was banned for not one, but TWO games for talking. I’m sure Vieri has said worse things to a dirty, 53 year old hooker that received a softer penalty. Just add that to the growing list of absurdities towards our club. So, who will be pairing up with Cavani up front? Furthermore, will Lanzafame see more than 3 minutes and 21 seconds on the pitch?

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Carrozzieri, Bovo, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Liverani, Bresciano, Simplicio; Cavani, Succi (?)

Siena

I believe Matthew of La Robur could have a preview up in time for the game. Basically, all I can say is “Calaiò”…because he’s our boy from Palermo. He’s not starting…but considering their options in attack are about as initimidating as a 12 year old boy just hitting puberty, they might as well give Emanuele an opportunity to start.

Probable Lineup:
Curci; Zuniga, Rossettini, Portanova, Del Grosso; Vergassola, Coppola, Galloppa; Kharja; Ghezzal, Maccarone

Categorical Matchup

Playstation vs. Roman Waste: Palermo. The Roman by-product couldn’t even unseat Doni! That should tell you enough right there. However, he did make some impressive saves last week to keep the Napoli scoreline seem closer than the game actually was. Meanwhile, Amelia is finally coming around.

Braveheart & Bovo vs. Who?: Palermo. Siena has given up 12 goals away from home. They have a great defense by statistical standards, but then again, much of that is due to their success at home. Guess what? We’re playing IN Palermo! Expect Moris & Co. to feast on the toothless Siena attack…unless, of course, some sort of penalty is magically awarded as seems to be custom against Palermo these days.

Fozzy, 2 & a Magic Carpet Ride vs. ‘Ola, ‘Ola, ‘Oppa!: Palermo. Once more, Palermo’s midfield is at full strength. Yes, we have Liverani…who statistically passes the ball often and on-target but we all know stats don’t tell the whole story. Siena’s midfield is as exciting as taking a Physics exam.

No Eyebrows! vs. Impotence & Arab Virgins: Push. We don’t have Miccoli running around wreaking havoc and firing laser beams on goal. We have Cavani running around…alot…and working hard…but not reaping the benefits as consistently as we’d like. Luckily, Siena’s attack could use a subscription to Cialis. They just can’t seem to get it up…I mean, in the back of the net. It’ll be interesting to see who gets on the scoresheet.

Final Analysis

This game is basically a must win. Points at home are vital. While only one point separates us from Siena, we’re also within striking distance of Europe. All we need to do is find a goal from somewhere and someone. Siena should not be causing that many problems for our defence. Palermo should take comfort in the fact that they’re at home – even without the magic of Miccoli, three points should not be out of the question.

Form Guide

Palermo
LLDWL

Siena
LDLWL

Prediction
1-0. Moris.

MOTM:

Moris Carrozzieri

Remembering the Good Times

FORZA PALERMO!

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

It’s pretty difficult to say anything about yesterday’s match, because it’s hard to say something if you have already said it all after the Torino and Lecce-games. I think Davide Ballardini’s quote says a lot:

It just wasn’t us in the first half.

No, really? Going 1-0 down to Bologna, the second worst team in Serie A, is a disgrace. Keeping the scoreline that way would’ve been a humiliation. Luckily, in the end we could rely on our superstar from Ravenna. After 10 shots that can only go down as terrible misses, Succi finally equalized. Good for us, and I’ll grand him the honour of not tearing him to shreds once more. But we all have to realize that bringing in Succi and Cavani was a decision made by fear. Losing Bologna would have made Ballardini’s job a living hell with Zamparini on his way to Palermo. So what he did was take out a midfielder (the sketchy Migliaccio) and a striker that hadn’t touched a single ball all game (Budan, or maybe his handicapped, untalented brother) and replace them with two strikers that are also yet to prove themselves. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a fine example of panic on the bench.

It was hard to draw conclusions right after the game as we didn’t get a good broadcast, but I saw the game in replay afterwards. So here are my two cents.

What I Liked:

Everything, and I do mean everything, goes trough Miccoli. He works his ass off (and complains a lot), and without him we would even be further down the table.

Marco finally showed his talents. He looked like a soccer mom (thanks for making my day, Kat), but luckily he landed on the same amount of balls than your average soccer mom.

Moris is Palermo. He plays fantastic, breathes a natural cool and he’s becoming the absolute leader of this team and te favourite of the fans.

What I Didn’t Like:

Ciro Capuano. We all knew he wasn’t worth his place on the team, the critics knew it, and I sure hope Ballardini now knows it too.

Igor Budan. Dude, really? What was that?

Lanza’s five minutes. Nobody can develop into a good player with only five minutes a week.

Pagelle:

Amelia 6,5: Surprised on the goal, did fantastic for the rest.
Cassani 6,5: Went down with the rest in the first half, showed his real identity later on in the game.
Kjaer 5,5: Did well, but had a lot of problems with the experienced Di Vaio
Carrozzieri 7: Big man on Campus.
Capuano 2: Great assist on the Bologna-goal. Should be a) shot, b) given away free as practice doll for young camorristi or c) assraped and skullfucked by Moris, Mr. T and the tubby dude in the NY Giants defensive line.
Lanzafame s.v.
Migliaccio 5: Not good.
Cavani 6: Did well, but needs to learn how to score goals.
Liverani 6: Did surprisingly mediocre, but is too old. And to ugly.
Nocerino 5.: Was lucky that Budan and Capuano were worse, otherwise would’ve been today’s Androberto.
Simplicio 5,5: Not his usual self.
Budan 4: That’s what you get for giving him a starting spot…
Succi 6,5: One disallowed goal and one allowed. Still hate him, but he deserves the 6.5 as game winner.
Miccoli 6,5: Constant danger, the true leader of the team.
All. Ballardini 6: Put out the big bluff during half time, but it worked. -0.5 for fielding Capuano.

Facts:

Bologna – Palermo : 1-1
20’ Di Vaio 1-0
93’ Succi 1-1

Bologna: Antonioli; Zenoni, Terzi, Moras (Britos 64), Lanna; Mingazzini, Mudingayi; Marchini (Rodriguez 77), Valiani, Bombardini (Cesar 46); Di Vaio

Palermo: Amelia; Cassani, Carrozzieri, Kjaer, Capuano (Lanzafame 87), Nocerino, Liverani, Migliaccio (Succi 46); Simplicio; Budan (Cavani 46), Miccoli

Ref: Russo

Giornata 13’s Androberto Guarraciolo Award:

ShitPants. What a way to put an end to your career in Serie A.

Extra comments:

Get.
Ciccio.
Back.
NOW!

Highlights:

Portieri

Marco Amelia
I don’t think ‘bad’ is the word here. ‘Lacking self esteem’ or ‘underachieving’ is more appropriate. In defense of Marco: I think all of us expected just a little too much of him. He might have done better, but let’s not forget he still has to find his way into a top tier-team, and having our sketchy defense in front of him isn’t helping either. Amelia’s not delivering what we expected, but I have a good feeling that things will work out alright. Pagelle: 6

Jimmy Fontana
2008-2009 might just be Jimmy’s season too many. In general, he did a good job, but he’s just not the same Jimmy of last year. He doesn’t feel secure when coming out for a cross, he’s always out of the goal and his reflexes aren’t as good as they used to be. I think he can be a great mentor for Marco and Ujkani, but I strongly believe that his playing days have come to an end. Pagelle:6.

Samir Ujkani
Aah, the great unknown. Is he the future? I don’t know. No one knows. All I know is that he (and Amelia) could be feeling Salvatore Sirigu’s hot breath in their necks. He’s playing another fantastic season, and he just might be the next big thing. Pagelle: none.

Difensori

Ciro Capuano
ShitPants hasn’t played a game all year. That’s good. Pagelle: 10.

Cesare Bovo
It’s a good thing we got him back from Genoa. Him and Moris make one of the most fearsome defensive duos in Serie A. Is in the balance with Kjaer and Moris for the two spots in central defense, but seems to be sure of a starting spot every week. Is great at cleaning up the others’ mess. Pagelle: 7.

Paolo Hernan Dellafiore
Had three starts so far, but hasn’t impressed. Shows a lot of good will, but is in no way a contender for the spot of Bovo, Moris or Kjaer. Lacks confidence, ability to play his way out of trouble and most definitely: strength. Should be loaned out (to another team than Torino) to gain experience, but is needed in case one of the others gets injured. Is still young, but is coming very close to ‘make or break’-time. Pagelle: 5.5

Mattia Cassani
Was almost gone last year, but fought himself back into the team after that awesome screamer against Juve. His place at the right is almost untouchable, but had a setback against Inter, where he was unrecognisable. In my opinion, he’s better than Balzaretti. His crosses are better, and he comes back faster than Balza after an attack. Pagelle: 7.

Simon Kjaer
Surprise of the season so far. He’s young and talented, but we’ll need to look out that we don’t burn him just yet. Lacks the natural talent that other great defenders had, but he just could become the new Cannavaro if we take care of him and surround him with the right people/coaches. Is integrating well and has a powerful header, which makes him dangerous in front of goal as well. Kjaer should know that he’s in one hell of a position: he’s learning the technique from Bovo, and Moris can teach him how to use power in a duel. Pagelle: 8.

Federico Balzaretti
Untouchable at the left, too bad it’s not always because of his own talent. Is a fantastic player, but has been slacking a little bit in the last couple of games. Could benefit from a new left back. When his starting spot isn’t sure anymore, he will remember that he has to work for it as well. Had an absolute shitgame against Torino. Pagelle: 7.

Andrea Raggi
Played two games, both ending in disaster. Was brought in from Empoli as a talented defender, but has shown nothing. Strong contender for the Bidone’d Oro, is expected to be shipped to Torino like the rest of our defensive failures. Pagelle: 3.

Moris Carrozzieri
Least wanted signing before the season started, has fought himself in the hearts of all Palermitani. He’s ugly and as subtle as an atom bomb, but is keeping the defense together almost single-handedly. Looks like Caserta, but is better than Caserta. Pagelle: 7.5

Centrocampisti

Giovanni Tedesco
Four games, 59 minutes. Nonno is nothing more than a mascot, kept around to provide counterweight for the selling of other Palermitani Brienza and Rinaudo. Whenever he’s subbed in, he takes away valuable playing time from youngsters like Lanza. If Balla wants him on the field so bad, he should buy him an Aquile-costume and put him beneath the Curva for the entire game. Pagelle: 4.

Giulio Migliaccio
I don’t really know what to say about Miggy. Is being played out on the wing, but does better in central midfield. The only problem is that he’s barred by The Arab in that position. Has shown good thing, but has also been spotted while sucking away. Needs to find last year’s form again. Pagelle: 6.

Fabio Liverani
I think this one is clear. Every single year, our coach/Blowjobarini has a crush on the worst player in the squad. Guidolin loved Capuano and Guana, Colantuono had Guana and Agliardi and Ballardini has Liverani. Is one of the most experienced players in the team, but looks as if he’s on vacation. Half of his passes are bad or intercepted, couldn’t cross if his life depended on it and never comes back to defend. Should be shot, hung up or stoned to death, whatever it is they do to people in Somalia. Pagelle: 4.

Roberto Guana
Is not Balla’s friend. Should use more tongue and less teeth to regain spot in the starting eleven. Had one start, sucked away. Unless half of the midfield does a Superga, isn’t going to see a lot of PT this season. Pagelle: 4.

Maurizio Ciaramitaro
There’s not a lot to say about Ciara’s 41 minutes so far. It’s good to finally see him in pink, but he’s one of those guys that need a lot more time to develop into the player we need him to be. Was used as a right back in one of his games, which also isn’t helping. Pagelle: 6.

Marco Bresciano
One of this year’s mysteries. After a terrible season last year, he finally seemed to bounce back this year. But the further we get into the season, the more it looks as if Marco’s got some kind of personality crisis. He’s mixing good games with horrible ones, and sometimes can’t seem to control himself. Needs to start focussing, or start packing. Pagelle: 5.5.

Fabio Hernan Simplicio
Player of the season so far. Fozzy is everywhere: comes back to defend, cleans up Liverani’s mess, controls the midfield and is dangerous in the box. Just like Cassani, he was close to being sold but now is the undisputed king of the midfield. If we could just get someone who is an exact copy of Simplicio, we’d be a force to reckon with. Pagelle: 8.5

Antonio Nocerino
Does well, but as Zamparini already said: he’s not really bringing the things we expected him to bring. Maybe there’s too much pressure on him, but he’ll need to realise that this isn’t Juve. Coming in for 25 minutes when the game is already one isn’t going to happen. Has to give his all for 90 minutes. Is sometimes unfairly treated by the referees, but should let his actions speak. Pagelle: 6.5

Attacanti

Edison Cavani
Started out like the Cavani we all know, but then had an excellent spell with 4 goals. Too bad he morphed back to the old Cavani right after that. Is working hard, but doesn’t contribute enough goals and/or assists to remain undisputed. Has to know that his ass might be the first to get benched when Igor Budan is fully recovered from his injuries. Pagelle: 6.5

Fabrizio Miccoli
Not to jinx it, but Mighty Mouse is holding out fine. Is always complaining about little injuries, but is there when matchday comes. Scored six goals, but his source seems to have dried out now. That, of course, is also caused by the lack of good passes coming trough the midfield. Is becoming a team hero, but will have to work hard to make us forget Amauri. Pagelle: 7.5

Davide Succi
Became the lead actor in this year’s ‘Candid Camera Turns Real’-show. 88 minutes so far, isn’t likely to get more. Might be shipped off to Lucchese or Gela in January. Pagelle: 3.

Igor Budan
Four times subbed in, an hour of playing time. Needs to start 2-3 games to regain his Parma-form, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Pagelle: none.

Davide Lanzafame
Is in the same situation as Budan, but his fate is in his own hands. Needs to show Ballardini that he deserves a starting spot, and not just sit back and wait for it to be handed to him. Pagelle: 6.

Levan Mchedlidze
Came back injured from an international fixture and hasn’t played since, but did give us the game against Juve. Shows potential, but needs to grow. Pagelle: 6.5

Now you know my feeling about our players. As for the team, I’ll make it short. We need some reinforcements in all areas. Maybe Ujkani should be loaned out and Sirigu brought back to give Amelia some more competition, we need a new back, a good winger and central midfielder, and of course a powerful striker. Not another kid that gets pushed away by the likes of Walter Samuel and Philippe Mexes.

As we are already playing our next game on Wednesday, I’m combining the review of last night’s joke against Fioremerda with a Lecce-preview.

Review
Well, that was unexpected, wasn’t it? I never thought Raggi could be worse than we expected him to be before the game, but I think (or should I say hope) that we have seen his final minutes in the pink shirt yesterday. Raggi’s touch, style and lack of talent make me think of the days when we had players like Ernesto Farias and Kewullay Conteh in the team.

My other big remark about the game is the total lack of sportsmanship, class and respect of Alfucko Gilartuffo. There used to be a time, at Parma, when I liked him. Last year, I thought that he was the heir to Inzaghi: you didn’t see him all game, and then he was there to tap in the almost made goal from a teammate. After yesterday, I want to rip of his gonads, show them to his mother and let her eat them.

Zampa, of course, was his loveable self after the match:
“It is outrageous. We will demand that the disciplinary committee use TV pictures, as he deserves at least a 5-game ban. He even had the cheek to celebrate, that’s plain incredible.
Palermo played a good match, but we were clearly robbed, with the referee and the linesman giving a huge contribution. The same thing happened two seasons ago, when Adrian Mutu made a fool of us, hitting the back of the net while one of our players was down injured. Is this the same side that advocated fair play and the ‘terzo tempo’? Get out of here…”
And for the first time in months, who can argue with that?

What I Liked:

Kjaer did well. He’s young, he looks like one of the Hanson-brothers and it was his debut, but I’ve seen nice things. I expect Balla to have seen it to, and expect him to play alongside Moris on Wednesday.

Fabio is still a beast. He keeps working when the other tend to slow down.

Jimmy’s return. I almost went berserk when I saw that smiling bald dude coming out at half time. Glad to have you back, oldtimer.

What I Didn’t Like:

Raggi. Don’t think I need to elaborate.

The defense kept on going backwards every time we lost the ball. You need to put pressure on the ball, not act like a bunch of pussies.

For a minute by minute resume, check the previous post.

Pagelle:

Amelia: 6.5. Could do nothing about the Tuffo-goal, didn’t look too bad, had some good saves.
Raggi: 3. Bidone d’Oro
Dellafiore: 5. Was toyed around by Tuffo and the Gypsy.
Balzaretti: 6. Good in attacking, bad at defending. You’re a back, not a midfielder.
Cassani: 5. Anonymous, some good clearances.
Liverani: 4. Had a decent start, sucked away for the other 75 minutes. Bench him for life. Especially for that third goal-error.
Simplicio: 6.5. Great goal, hard work, error on the first Mutu-goal.

Nocerino: 5. Not great. Gave away too much space in midfield.
Bresciano: 6. Worked hard, is trying to get back into my grace. Should’ve scored in the first half, but shot ended in Frey’s hands.
Miccoli: 6.5. Great assist and work for the assist, lots of shots, but lacked firepower.
Cavani: 6.5. Should’ve scored, did some great work. He’s starting to get better and better by the week.
Kjaer: 6. Good debut, he’s a keeper.
Fontana: 6.5. Did well coming in, good to see him back.
Lanza77: 6.5. Worked hard in the 20 minutes that were granted him, needs more time to prove himself.

Ballardini: 5.5. Made a big mistake starting Raggi over Kjaer and Liverani over Migliaccio. The damage control during half time looked like it was gonna work, but Liverani blew it all away. Should’ve brought Lanzafame earlier on, although that is an arguable call.

Facts:

Palermo 1–3 Fiorentina

Gilardino 19’ (F)
Mutu 42’,62’ (F)
Simplicio 50’ (P)

Palermo: Amelia (Fontana 45’); Cassani, Raggi, Dellafiore (Kjaer 45’), Balzaretti; Liverani, Nocerino (Lanzafame 66’), Bresciano, Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

Firoentina: Frey; Comotto, Dainelli (Kroldrup 35’), Gamberini, Vargas; Kuzmanovic (Almiron 64’), Donadel, Montolivo, Santana, Gilardino (Pazzini 75’), Mutu

Referee: Morganti

Giornata 8’s Androberto Guarraciolo Award:

It’s a tie between Bidone and The Arab. I still can’t believe the amount of errors those two made.

Highlights:

Wednesday, October 29th, 2008 20.30 (I guess)
Stadio Via Del Mare, Lecce

Palermo Boys, we are here. We beat your women and drink their beer, Palermo Boys, we are here.

Preview

Most of what I wanted to say has already been said in the comments of the liveblog and in the review above, so I’ll keep this short and simple. We need those three points. We have Lecce, Chievo and Torino the following weeks, so a 9/9 isn’t too much too ask, is it? Chievo and Torino are two of the worst teams in Serie A, and Lecce, although at 9 points, just got beat by Reggina.

Squad Status

Palermo

It’s looking a little less shitty than last week. Moris can retake his place in the center of the defense, and Jimmy might get Amelia’s place. Up front, Micco’s still ok. I’m not putting up a probable line-up, but a desired line-up.

Probable Lineup:
Fontana; Cassani, Kjaer, Moris, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Migliaccio, Bresciano; Simplicio; Miccoli, Cavani.

Lecce

Lecce’s Offside is pretty dead, so I’ll have to do the honours. No Tiribocchi, and lots of defensive problems. Ex-Palermitani Giacomazzi and Caserta are playing pretty good these days, but it shouldn’t be a problem coping with them.

Probable Lineup:
No idea, should look something like this:

Benussi; Polenghi, Stendardo, Fabiano, Esposito, Giacomazzi, Ardito, Ariatti, Caserta, Castillo, Cacia

Categorical Match up

Jimmy! vs. Who?: Palermo. Really, I have never even heard of Benussi. Anyone? Help?

The Semi-Hole in the Maze vs. The Big Hole In The Maze: Palermo. Moris is back, and if Kjaer starts, there might not even be a hole in the maze anymore. Lecce, on the other hand, are having all sorts of defensive problems. They also seem to concede a lot of penalties these days…

Not the Arab! vs. Ex-Palermitani: Push. Caserta is scoring a lot and playing good, Giacomazzi has a powerful shot and then there’s Esposito. We have an Arab that can’t play for shit, and a talented young Antonio that’s not living up to potential.

Score already, you fuckin’ longhaired hippie vs. Sketchy: Push.
Why a push? Because we had so many chances yesterday, and then we need a defensive midfielder to score our only goal. That’s why.

Final Analysis

I don’t really feel like talking a lot about it in advance, because it feels like karma is catching up on me the last couple of matchdays. Everytime we’re sure to take the win, we lose. So fuck it, I say Lecce will take this.

Form Guide

Palermo
L W W L L

Lecce
L W D D L

Past Encounters

05/03/2006 Lecce – Palermo 2-0 Serie A
26/10/2005 Palermo – Lecce 3-0 Serie A
20/02/2005 Palermo – Lecce 3-2 Serie A
17/10/2004 Lecce – Palermo 2-0 Serie A

Prediction

Don’t know. You guys call it.

MOTM

The ref.

Remembering the good times

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!

Sunday, September 28th, 2008 15.00
Stadio La Favorità, Palermo

Palermo Boys, we are here. We beat your women and drink their beer, Palermo Boys, we are here.

Overview

We suffered a small setback. Let’s just call the result of the Napoli-game that way, and there’s no need to get scared for a big setback. Napoli is one of the most promising sides in European football these days, and we came close to drawing them. Reggina, on the other hand, blows. I’ve always had a slight form of sympathy for the Amaranto (maybe because they’re Southern folk too, maybe because we never had a reason to be scared of them), but there’s no way you can deny the fact that the Reggio Calabria-team is doomed. An unproven coach, a terrible squad and a 1/12. These days, Nevio Orlandi’s job is as secure as fucking Liverani’s sister with a condom with 3 holes in it. It’s got written ‘Disaster!’ all over it.

So, what does this mean for us? That things might get dangerous. Reggina clearly is a wounded animal, and we don’t do well against wounded animals. On the other hand, this team is so weak that acting like a wounded animal probably means clawing three times before shitting themselves and getting run over by a big, pink-and-black truck.

Squad Status

Palermo

I don’t see many changes happening in the line-up. Apart from the little Bovo-slip up, the defense looked pretty decent. Miccoli survived, and will be pairing up with Cavani once more. Only options, since Budan is still out. The midfield scares me a little. Bresciano was bad against Napoli, Liverani acquired Eccelenza-level. Nocerino and Simplicio won’t be able to undo all the errors of our two players from the Southern Hemisphere, so I would love to see this:

Lanzafame – Nocerino – Simplicio – Ciaramitaro

It’s a wild guess to play two wingers who haven’t been there all season, but it sure can’t be worse than last week. But, as we all know by know, it’s not gonna happen.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Carrozzieri, Bovo, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Liverani, Bresciano; Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

Reggina

As our Reggina Offside is pretty much dead, I’ll do the honours. This team sucks. Just look at the facts, and the line-up. Barreto and Vigiani are decent, and Brienza en Corradi may be dangerous. And that’s just about it.

Probable Lineup:
Campagnolo; Lanzaro, Cirillo, Santos; Vigiani, Barreto, Carmona, Hallfredsson, Costa; Brienza; Corradi

Categorical Matchup

Caesar vs. Baldy Butterfingers: Palermo. Marco is playing almost up to his level, whil Campagnolo must be without a doubt one of the worst keepers ever.

Bash Brothers vs. Who?: Palermo. Come on, apart from Cirillo, who of these guys do we even know? Without Aronica, this defense is fucked.

Please Not The Arab! vs. Mediocrity: Palermo. Even with Liverani and Sheila on the field, this may not be a problem. Just look at that midfield!

Still Not Convinced vs. The One Strength: Push. Good news: we have the second best attack in Serie A. Bad: it all depends on the Glass Man and a Uruguayan who has a 50% chance of playing a good game. Brienza and Corradi can be dangerous, so it’s up to Bovo and Moris to stop them in time.

Final Analysis

Only two things matter in this game: the result and the return of Ciccio. Seriously, I couldn’t care less if we played ugly football in this game. I just want to see a comfortable win against a team that hasn’t won a single game until now, and I want to see the tears in Ciccio’s eyes after the match when greeted by the tifosi.

Form Guide

Palermo
LWWL

Reggina
LXLL

Past Encounters

02/03/2008 Reggina Palermo 0-0 Serie A
07/10/2007 Palermo Reggina 1-1 Serie A
20/01/2007 Reggina Palermo 0-0 Serie A
10/09/2006 Palermo Reggina 4-3 Serie A
05/02/2006 Reggina Palermo 2-2 Serie A
21/09/2005 Palermo Reggina 1-0 Serie A
15/05/2005 Palermo Reggina 1-1 Serie A
06/01/2005 Reggina Palermo 1-0 Serie A

Prediction

We seem to be having a problem with Reggina. Ties, close wins…dangerous. But, this is in no way the team of the last two years, so winning this is a must.

2-0. Miccoli, Nocerino.

MOTM

Micco.

Remembering the good times

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!

Saturday, August 30th, 2008 18.00
Stadio Friuli, Udine

Overview

Well, this sucks, doesn’t it? We went down to Ravenna, our management is fuckin’ up everything and we don’t seem to be ready for the new season. Yesterday, I even found a site that predicted us ending 14-15th… This season can go either way: we can kick ass and rub our balls against the ass of the Champions League, but we can also end up trying to avoid ugly gayboy Serie B fucking us up the culo. The game against the Terremotati will make things a lot more clear.

Colantuono needs to forget all the transfer-shit from the last week, and try and concentrate on the game. And Sabatini better not be in the stadium.

Squad Status

Palermo

Although it’s the beginning of the season, we’re already missing people. Cassani, who from now on will be called ‘Screamer’, and Carrozzieri are already out with injuries. Dellafiore, The Serbian Stallion and Capuano (yay! party up in here!) are back from their injuries. Another problem might be De Melo: kid is good, kid is ready, kid kicks Cavani’s ass, but kid might be shipped of to Lille before even tasting Serie A. Bobby Goblin might also be out because of a sudden attack of gayness. I hope.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Raggi, Dellafiore, Bovo, Balzaretti; Migliaccio, Liverani, Nocerino; Lanzafame, De Melo, Miccoli

Sampdoria

For more on Udinese and their lineup, go visit Udinese’s Offside page.

Probable Lineup:
Handanovic; Motta, Sala, Vujadinovic, Lukovic; Inler, Tissone; Sanchez, Floro Flores, Di Natale; Quagliarella

Categorical Matchup

The Pretty Roman vs. The Slovak Stopper: Palermo. Come on, Amelia is desperate to prove the world that he is the rightful heir to Gigi’s throne. He’s going to wanna show his skills, and doesn’t want to be the first beaten keeper of the season, like Jimmy was last year.

The New Boys vs. Who The Fuck?: Push. I have no fuckin’ clue what to expect from Udinese’s backline. Half of the starting guys aren’t here, and I don’t know what Motta does when not playing for the Azzurrini. On our defense: it can’t be worse than last season, can it?

Keep the Turd on the Bench! vs. Danger!: Push. Migliaccio + Nocerino + Liverani = Udinese-midfield. Minus Miggy + Guana = disaster.

Amauri No More vs. Poor Man’s Luca Toni: Palermo. It’s the start of the season, and Lanzafame wants to show his skills. Add some scary eyebrows and a playboy to that, and there’s no way Quagliarella and Antonio Floro Flores (that must mean something like Flower Flowers in Spanish, I think) are going to beat that. Maybe Di Natale…no, let’s not thing of that…

Final Analysis

This game is a dangerous one. We have some though weeks coming up, so we need to start the season with a win. Especially against a team that could be competing with us for a European ticket at the end of the season. Beating Marino’s team will give ours a boost, and will also sink the Terremotati’s hopes to do as well as last season. It will also be our first glance at the new team and how it has been affected by the crap from the last weeks.

Form Guide

Palermo
No games played.

Udinese
No games played.

Past Encounters
20 games, 5 wins, 8 losses and 7 ties.

1991/92 – serie B – Udinese-Palermo 1-0
1994/95 – serie B – Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2004/05 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 1-0
2005/06 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2006/07 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 1-2
2007/08 – c. Italia – Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2007/08 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 1-1

Prediction

It’s not going to be a highscoring affair, I can tell you that from the past.

1-0. De Melo.

MOTM

Amelia, for not conceding.

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!

First of all, I have something to say to some people:

To Alessio: it hurts my heart to see Amauri in that prison-striped shirt, but it hurts me even more that Juve have now gotten some sort of ‘face’. It’s harder to hate you and your boys now that my all-time favorite player is one of yours now.

To Lorenzo: thanks a lot for keeping the boys busy while I was away.

To Tommaso over at the Lecce-blog: va scassaci la minchia, cazzo di merda.

And now to the news of the day.

Gazzetta-news

So the Gazzetta did some part about the pre-seasons of all Serie A-teams this week. They compared transfers, pre-season games and the happiness in the squads, and guess what: we were rated “:)”. Not bad. What did they have to say? Except for that terrible defeat against the Lega Pro-team, all of our pre-season friendlies were good. The Gazzetta saw a team that was completely ready to go for it, even without the presence of Nocerino. This is what they stated as the perfect line-up:

Amelia
Raggi – Kjaer – Bovo – Balzaretti
Migliaccio – Liverani – Nocerino
Miccoli
De Melo – Lanzafame

To me, this seems the perfect line-up. Maybe Jankovic can be fitted in there somewhere, but the fact that they didn’t include Guana make me a happy camper. I got even happier when, the next day, they published a list of players the teams in Serie A should get rid of. Because there is no place on the team for them, or because of their bad influence. Number one on the list: Eccelenza’s future MVP.

He was accompagnied by: Federico Agliardi, Ciro Capuano, Mattia Cassani, Simplicio, Bresciano and Cavani. Strange list. I agree with most of these guys, but not with the Cassani-thing. As Lorenzo already said, he may not get lots of playing time this year, but that was the same thing at the start of last season. Once Pisano and Diana were out of the picture, Mattia took his chance and played one hell of a season. And he will always remain a hero for that Juve-screamer. I say we keep him, if Raggi gets hurt we need a replacement. Cavani then. Some of you still think he’s got potential, I see him as the new Ernesto Farias. Send him out on loan, and then we’ll see.

And this comment might shock you: I hope we keep Ciro Capuano until january. No, you didn’t misread that. ShitPants seemed to have impressed everyone in the pre-season games, and somehow he has gotten better after his surgery.

Last but not least, this is what the pink paper had to say about the Wolfsburg-game: “This is a Palermitano team that doesn’t deserve not playing European football this season. Not only are they ready for Europe, they might have even gotten very far in the competition.” Wow.

Pechino 2008: Italia – Belgio

Wow. Again. First of all I didn’t even expect my fellow countrymen to advance, but a game against Italy is so nice. I think it’s clear who I’ll be rooting for. It sure won’t be the likes of Dembele, Mirallas, Ma-Kalambay and Pocognoli. (See? None of these guys are even native Belgians!) I hope they put in a good performance, but seeing Our Boy Nocerino kicking the shit out of them would be so much nicer.

But there also a downside to a possible win. Isn’t Antonio going to be too fuckin’ tired to start the new season? It’s not as if playing in Beijing is healthy, and he has gotten some knocks already. And did you guys know that our Antonio shares a hobby with Tommaso’s butbuddy Cassano?

The Androberto Guaracciolo-Award

Fantastic idea by Lorenzo. From now on, we’ll have another weekly post next to the Preview, Review and Video of the Week. After every match day you guys can nominate your favourite Androberto Guarraciolo of the giornata.

And last but not least, there’s this. Do you guys remember that totally gay tattoo-picture of Andrea Bovo? Well, get a load of this.

“Does this make me look less like a gay retard?”

“Dude, I was so drunk when I got this one…

Never knew Marco Pisano liked Depeche Mode…

So, what do we have left then? First of all, there’s the signing of Fabio Liverani, our first semi-Somalian ever. And our ugliest player until now?

Then, there’s the Amauri-transfer. Finally finished, bringing Nocerino AND Lanzafame to Palermo. Lanza has been swallowing his previous comments, and had this to say yesterday:

“Il Palermo è una grande squadra con un progetto ambizioso. Sono molto contento del buon esito della trattativa, più del successo a Tolone con l’Olimpica. Ho già parlto con il mister che si è mostrato molto contento del mio arrivo: sa già come impiegarmi. Vorrei che la stagione iniziasse domani.”

The Cavani-to-Lazio-for-Behrami soap has taken a new turn. Lazio is now interested in Miccoli. Too bad for Lazio, Miccoli ain’t going nowhere.

More transfer targets:

* Salvatore Aronica, who said he’s ready to leave Reggina. We’ll be fighting Lazio for him.

* Simone ‘The Beast’ Loria. Another ex-Atalanta player, and really good to replace Pusszagli.

* Marco Amelia, still.

Oh yeah, and Bresciano’s talking to Fulham. Get.The. Fuck. Out. Already.