Sunday, October 4th, 2009 20.45
Stadio La Favorità, Palermo

I warriors, brigate rosanero, siamo forti e vinceremo!

Preview

It’s Juve tonight, and the biggest team to come to La Favorità this season couldn’t be visiting at a worse time. There’s zero confidence in the locker room, nobody likes the way Zenga is running things and only 35% of the team is playing like they should be playing. The arrival of Juventus is yet another disaster waiting to happen. Just look at the season stats so far:

Matches Played 6 6
Table Position 15 2
Points 6 14
Goal Difference -1 7
Goals for * 2.0 2.3
Goals against * 1.7 1.0
Last 5 D-D-L-D-L D-D-W-W-W
Last 5 home D-D-W D-W-W
Last 5 away D-L-L D-W-W

That’s right, there isn’t any department where we beat Juve. We haven’t won a match in the last five games, and only gained 2 points out of 9 in our last three home games. I’m hoping for a miracle, but it’s not likely to happen.

Squad Status

Palermo

It’s getting old: no Liverani, no Tedesco (well, he’s certainly getting old) and no Hernandez. The team seems to be almost the same team as the one from the first games of the season, with Bovo in the back and Pastore replacing Simplicio. Cavani’s in as well, and so seems to be Supersirigu.

Juventus

Maybe there’s something on the Juve Offside, otherwise see below.

Categorical Matchup

The Savior vs. God: Juventus. Come on, nobody can compete with Gigi.

Familiar Faces vs. 50/50: Push. I think we have a shot here. The Schnoz and Grosso are quality, but Zebina and Legro not so.

The Wild Guess Department vs. Foreign Affairs: Juve. Diego > Palermo midfield.

Old School v. I still love you: Push. You know, I don’t rate Amauri as high as last season, so if our defense can contain him, I think here’s another shot.

Last Five Games

Palermo: LDLDD
Juve: WWWDD

Final Analysis

We should be able to put up a good fight tonight, but I don’t see us grabbing anything. Maybe a loss (and the relegation spot that comes with it) could see Zenga do a Colantuono: getting fired after a loss to Juve. We’ll find out tonight.

Prediction

1-2.

MOTM:

Amauri.

Remembering the Good Times

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Sunday, August 23th, 2009 20.45
Stadio Atleti Azzurri d’Italia

I warriors, brigate rosanero, siamo forti e vinceremo!

Preview

This is it, boys, this is it. The year that could become Year One for Palermo as a top team. The year that brought us the biggest expectations ever. The year where a Catanese takes over the team, and talks about winning the Scudetto. The year that could become the best year in Palermitano history, but also the year that could become the biggest disaster in recent years. Serie A 09-10 is here, and it’s about fucking time.

First game of the season, first clash. Napoli and Palermo are fighting for the same goal: to finish somewhere between 4th and 6th, possibly breaking the reign of Milan, Juve, Inter and Fioremerda. Both teams have bought well, with Napoli bringing home Quagliarella and acquiring De Sanctis and Cigarini. The Derby Delle Due Sicilie will be a fight. Let’s just hope the first game of the season goes better than last year, when we also met a team that was fighting for the same goal. If you don’t remember what happened, ask The Suit.

Squad Status

Palermo

What a difference with last year. Finally there’s some depth in the squad, Ol’ Butterfingers is shipped off to Pestoville, we brought in some talented Gypsies and Argies and most people seem to be in shape. Liverani’s still out, while Migliaccio is not 100%.

Probable Lineup:
Rubinho; Cassani, Kjaer, Bovo, Balzaretti; Pastore, Nocerino, Bertolo; Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

Napoli

Napoli is in no way the team of last year. De Sanctis, Campagnaro, Cigarini, Zuniga, Quaglia…the only thing that remains unseen is if these guys are already settled in. Lots of strong characters with a stubborn coach, I don’t know about it. Good thing is that Quagliarella might skip the game because of injury problems…

Probable Lineup:
De Sanctis; Campagnaro, P.Cannavaro, Contini; Maggio, Gargano, Cigarini, Hamsik, Zuniga; Quagliarella, Lavezzi

Categorical Matchup

Lou Ferigno vs. Wow, Still Alive?: Palermo. Last year’s revelation versus He Who Hasn’t Been Playing Regularly For Two Years. If Rubinho can avoid howlers like against SPAL, this one’s ours.

Palermo 08-09 vs. Hmm…: Palermo. Why change a winning team? Our defense was solid most of the time last year, and as soon as Gypsy 1 can step up for Bovo, it’s gonna be even better. Napoli’s backline doesn’t impress me.

Young and Willing vs. Wet Dream: Napoli. I love our midfield, but I’d trade it for Napoli’s in a second.

Magic Men vs. Cinderella & La Bestia Push. Miccoli’s doing magic all preseason, but the thought of the combination Lavezzi – Quaglia scares the shit outta me.

Final Analysis

Defense and midfield will be decisive. I except a though game, with few chances. If Pastore and Micco can shine, we’re taking this.

Form Guide

Palermo
—–

Napoli
—–

Prediction
2-1, same as last year. Micco, Ezequiel, Pastore.

MOTM:

Miccoli

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Sunday, January 25th, 2009 15.00
Stadio La Favorità, Palermo

Preview

Is it just me, or does it feel like it has been weeks since we played Sampdoria? I think we’ve all been on a high since we beat Cassano & the Crew, that high getting even better when we heard that Crapuano would be leaving. But now it’s time to get back to business, because Udinese is coming. You know, that team that beat us 3-1 on opening day, got Colantuono sacked, was at the top for a couple of weeks but is now floating around the likes of Siena and Torino. That Udinese is just another of those dangerous, wounded animals.

So we grabbed 6 out of 6 in the last two games, which was a long time ago. On Sunday, we will have the chance to make it 9 out of 9, something I think hasn’t happened this season. But we will need to play exactly like we played Samp to get to where we want. No Atalanta-crap, almost giving up the win after a 2-0 lead.

Squad Status

Palermo

Bovo and Balzaretti return, but with Moris supposed to be out and Miccoli his usual unreliable self, we might see the Christmas Tree that gave us the win last week. I’ve always hated it in the past, but the version of last week was fantastic.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Kjaer, Bovo, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Liverani, Miggy, Bresciano, Simplicio; Cavani,

Udinese

Vin over at the AS Ro…, sorry, Udinese Offside might be doing a preview. If he wouldn’t, there’s still not a lot to be said. Coda’s out, and that’s it.

Probable Lineup:
Handanovic; Ferronetti, Felipe, Zapata, Pasquale; Isla, D’Agostino, Inler; Obodo; Quagliarella, Di Natale

Categorical Matchup

Soccer Mom vs. Mr . 50%: Palermo. Handanovic is a great keeper, but he has those days when everything seems to go wrong. Marco’s having the time of his life.

My Chemical Danish Romance vs. Talent: Push. The least you can say, is that Udinese’s backline is talented. So is ours, so I expect a very thight battle.

La Statua and The Four Horsemen vs. The Future: Push. Again, a very talented Udinese-midfield. But the last game has shown that our midfield is without a doubt one of the stronger in Serie A.

He’s getting there vs. Drought: Push. Cavani’s rapidly becoming a factor that can decide matches, but if Di Natale and Quagliarella get back to scoring, it’ll be though. Luckily we have Marco ‘Hitman’ Bresciano in the ranks.

Final Analysis

This is going to be tight. When it comes to talent, I give Udinese the advantage. But when it comes to doing something with that talent, this game should be ours. We’re on a roll, and a third consecutive victory could give us that momentum we’ve been looking for. Udinese is down, and a quick goal for us might take away the last bit of their spirits. And let’s not forget, the Barbera is our fortress and Udinese haven’t won once in the last five matches, Coppa not included.

Form Guide

Palermo
LWLWW

Udinese
LDLDL

Previous Encounters:

Dunno.

Prediction
2-1. Bresciano, Cavani, Quagliarella.

MOTM:

Bresciano.

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Saturday, December 20th, 2008 18.00
Stadio Olimpico, Roma

Preview

Aah…it feels good not having to go trough another depressing week after another depressing loss to a second-tier team like Cagliari. Siena didn’t bring it, so we did. Without Miccoli, the expected damage control wasn’t even necessary. But this week is something else. The rosanero are travelling the Eternal City, for tea time with the boys in their silky satin baby blue shirts. Lazio were having a great spell after last year’s debacle when the season started, but now they’re in the exact same place as we are: in the belly. Close to the head, but also dangerously close to the shitter. SS NSDAP might have played a fine game against Udinese last week (coming back from a 3-0), but they have been waiting for a win for five games now. Delio Rossi’s ass is on the line, and he doesn’t like it.

‘Inconsistent’ is a keyword that can also be applied to Palermo. Beating the big guys, but failing against little teams, of which some are still hanging on to a Scudetto that was won over 35 years ago. Lazio is none of these. Lazio belongs to the same category as Udinese, Samp, Genoa and…err…Palermo. And as you can see, we lost our only game we played against a team in this category. But, that was another era. The Suit was still in charge and it was the first game of the season. Still, this is a game that could go either way. Difficult to predict, and sometimes too excited to watch.

Squad Status

Palermo

Nothing special here. Miccoli’s back after calling Banti whatever it was he said, so our attack is back at it’s best. There’s not a lot of things to be said: it’s the same as it always is, with Liverani on the field.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Bovo, Carrozzieri, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Lverani, Bresciano, Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

Lazio

The boys over at the Lazyo Offside might do a preview. They even might not do a preview. In the end, Lazio will still be without Siviglia and will have to choose from one of Foggia/Pandev/Rocchi to be benched.

Probable Lineup:
Carrizo; Lichtsteiner, Diakite, Rozenhal, Radu; Brocchi, Ledesma, Dabo; Rocchi, Zarate, Pandev

Categorical Matchup

Playstation vs. Almost Carrozzieri: Palermo. The only real Romano between the goals is on top of his game lately.

Braveheart & Bovo vs. Shiite: Palermo. Rozehnal? Haha. Radu? Haha. Lichtsteiner and Diarrhea, a little less Haha. But our incredible backline kept a clean sheet last week, while Lazio conceded three.

Fozzy and The Butt-Pirates vs. Dunno: Push. The inevitable Hummuseater is still in the centre of midfield, but just like that pulsating purple-brown spot on your Pazzini, you learn to live with it. Lazio has Brocchi and two other guys to push his wheelchair.

Yes Eyebrows! vs. Past Their Prime: Push. Micco’s back and Cavani’s actually showing signs of talent, while Zarate is proving to be a one trick pony and Rocchi’s close to signing for Genoa.

Final Analysis

Although this game is a tad more difficult than the Siena one, not much has changed since last week. This is still a must win game, and with the line-up we have on our hands there is not a single team except for Inter that we have to be afraid of. I mean, this team trashed Milan. Too bad it’s in the Olimpico, where 13.453 farmers will be rooting for Rome’s countryside-team.

Form Guide

Palermo
LDWLW

Lazio
LDLDD

Prediction
I ain’t jinxing it.

MOTM:

Bobby Goblin’s manager, aka the Real King Of Comedy: “Milan is interested in my client as a replacement for Gattuso, but he won’t go to Milan. He wants to stay in Palermo, and fight for a spot in the starting line-up.”

Se guardi in alto vedi
c’e’ un’aquila che vola
e’ il simbolo la fede
che sta nei nostri cuori….

Ed ecco siamo in gol
i rosa han fatto gol
la mia citta’ e’ in gol
io vivo per il gol
tifiamo tutti assieme
ed il successo viene con il gol!

Portieri

Marco Amelia
I don’t think ‘bad’ is the word here. ‘Lacking self esteem’ or ‘underachieving’ is more appropriate. In defense of Marco: I think all of us expected just a little too much of him. He might have done better, but let’s not forget he still has to find his way into a top tier-team, and having our sketchy defense in front of him isn’t helping either. Amelia’s not delivering what we expected, but I have a good feeling that things will work out alright. Pagelle: 6

Jimmy Fontana
2008-2009 might just be Jimmy’s season too many. In general, he did a good job, but he’s just not the same Jimmy of last year. He doesn’t feel secure when coming out for a cross, he’s always out of the goal and his reflexes aren’t as good as they used to be. I think he can be a great mentor for Marco and Ujkani, but I strongly believe that his playing days have come to an end. Pagelle:6.

Samir Ujkani
Aah, the great unknown. Is he the future? I don’t know. No one knows. All I know is that he (and Amelia) could be feeling Salvatore Sirigu’s hot breath in their necks. He’s playing another fantastic season, and he just might be the next big thing. Pagelle: none.

Difensori

Ciro Capuano
ShitPants hasn’t played a game all year. That’s good. Pagelle: 10.

Cesare Bovo
It’s a good thing we got him back from Genoa. Him and Moris make one of the most fearsome defensive duos in Serie A. Is in the balance with Kjaer and Moris for the two spots in central defense, but seems to be sure of a starting spot every week. Is great at cleaning up the others’ mess. Pagelle: 7.

Paolo Hernan Dellafiore
Had three starts so far, but hasn’t impressed. Shows a lot of good will, but is in no way a contender for the spot of Bovo, Moris or Kjaer. Lacks confidence, ability to play his way out of trouble and most definitely: strength. Should be loaned out (to another team than Torino) to gain experience, but is needed in case one of the others gets injured. Is still young, but is coming very close to ‘make or break’-time. Pagelle: 5.5

Mattia Cassani
Was almost gone last year, but fought himself back into the team after that awesome screamer against Juve. His place at the right is almost untouchable, but had a setback against Inter, where he was unrecognisable. In my opinion, he’s better than Balzaretti. His crosses are better, and he comes back faster than Balza after an attack. Pagelle: 7.

Simon Kjaer
Surprise of the season so far. He’s young and talented, but we’ll need to look out that we don’t burn him just yet. Lacks the natural talent that other great defenders had, but he just could become the new Cannavaro if we take care of him and surround him with the right people/coaches. Is integrating well and has a powerful header, which makes him dangerous in front of goal as well. Kjaer should know that he’s in one hell of a position: he’s learning the technique from Bovo, and Moris can teach him how to use power in a duel. Pagelle: 8.

Federico Balzaretti
Untouchable at the left, too bad it’s not always because of his own talent. Is a fantastic player, but has been slacking a little bit in the last couple of games. Could benefit from a new left back. When his starting spot isn’t sure anymore, he will remember that he has to work for it as well. Had an absolute shitgame against Torino. Pagelle: 7.

Andrea Raggi
Played two games, both ending in disaster. Was brought in from Empoli as a talented defender, but has shown nothing. Strong contender for the Bidone’d Oro, is expected to be shipped to Torino like the rest of our defensive failures. Pagelle: 3.

Moris Carrozzieri
Least wanted signing before the season started, has fought himself in the hearts of all Palermitani. He’s ugly and as subtle as an atom bomb, but is keeping the defense together almost single-handedly. Looks like Caserta, but is better than Caserta. Pagelle: 7.5

Centrocampisti

Giovanni Tedesco
Four games, 59 minutes. Nonno is nothing more than a mascot, kept around to provide counterweight for the selling of other Palermitani Brienza and Rinaudo. Whenever he’s subbed in, he takes away valuable playing time from youngsters like Lanza. If Balla wants him on the field so bad, he should buy him an Aquile-costume and put him beneath the Curva for the entire game. Pagelle: 4.

Giulio Migliaccio
I don’t really know what to say about Miggy. Is being played out on the wing, but does better in central midfield. The only problem is that he’s barred by The Arab in that position. Has shown good thing, but has also been spotted while sucking away. Needs to find last year’s form again. Pagelle: 6.

Fabio Liverani
I think this one is clear. Every single year, our coach/Blowjobarini has a crush on the worst player in the squad. Guidolin loved Capuano and Guana, Colantuono had Guana and Agliardi and Ballardini has Liverani. Is one of the most experienced players in the team, but looks as if he’s on vacation. Half of his passes are bad or intercepted, couldn’t cross if his life depended on it and never comes back to defend. Should be shot, hung up or stoned to death, whatever it is they do to people in Somalia. Pagelle: 4.

Roberto Guana
Is not Balla’s friend. Should use more tongue and less teeth to regain spot in the starting eleven. Had one start, sucked away. Unless half of the midfield does a Superga, isn’t going to see a lot of PT this season. Pagelle: 4.

Maurizio Ciaramitaro
There’s not a lot to say about Ciara’s 41 minutes so far. It’s good to finally see him in pink, but he’s one of those guys that need a lot more time to develop into the player we need him to be. Was used as a right back in one of his games, which also isn’t helping. Pagelle: 6.

Marco Bresciano
One of this year’s mysteries. After a terrible season last year, he finally seemed to bounce back this year. But the further we get into the season, the more it looks as if Marco’s got some kind of personality crisis. He’s mixing good games with horrible ones, and sometimes can’t seem to control himself. Needs to start focussing, or start packing. Pagelle: 5.5.

Fabio Hernan Simplicio
Player of the season so far. Fozzy is everywhere: comes back to defend, cleans up Liverani’s mess, controls the midfield and is dangerous in the box. Just like Cassani, he was close to being sold but now is the undisputed king of the midfield. If we could just get someone who is an exact copy of Simplicio, we’d be a force to reckon with. Pagelle: 8.5

Antonio Nocerino
Does well, but as Zamparini already said: he’s not really bringing the things we expected him to bring. Maybe there’s too much pressure on him, but he’ll need to realise that this isn’t Juve. Coming in for 25 minutes when the game is already one isn’t going to happen. Has to give his all for 90 minutes. Is sometimes unfairly treated by the referees, but should let his actions speak. Pagelle: 6.5

Attacanti

Edison Cavani
Started out like the Cavani we all know, but then had an excellent spell with 4 goals. Too bad he morphed back to the old Cavani right after that. Is working hard, but doesn’t contribute enough goals and/or assists to remain undisputed. Has to know that his ass might be the first to get benched when Igor Budan is fully recovered from his injuries. Pagelle: 6.5

Fabrizio Miccoli
Not to jinx it, but Mighty Mouse is holding out fine. Is always complaining about little injuries, but is there when matchday comes. Scored six goals, but his source seems to have dried out now. That, of course, is also caused by the lack of good passes coming trough the midfield. Is becoming a team hero, but will have to work hard to make us forget Amauri. Pagelle: 7.5

Davide Succi
Became the lead actor in this year’s ‘Candid Camera Turns Real’-show. 88 minutes so far, isn’t likely to get more. Might be shipped off to Lucchese or Gela in January. Pagelle: 3.

Igor Budan
Four times subbed in, an hour of playing time. Needs to start 2-3 games to regain his Parma-form, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Pagelle: none.

Davide Lanzafame
Is in the same situation as Budan, but his fate is in his own hands. Needs to show Ballardini that he deserves a starting spot, and not just sit back and wait for it to be handed to him. Pagelle: 6.

Levan Mchedlidze
Came back injured from an international fixture and hasn’t played since, but did give us the game against Juve. Shows potential, but needs to grow. Pagelle: 6.5

Now you know my feeling about our players. As for the team, I’ll make it short. We need some reinforcements in all areas. Maybe Ujkani should be loaned out and Sirigu brought back to give Amelia some more competition, we need a new back, a good winger and central midfielder, and of course a powerful striker. Not another kid that gets pushed away by the likes of Walter Samuel and Philippe Mexes.

Sunday, October 5th, 2008 15.00
Stadio Olimpico, Torino

Palermo Boys, we are here. We beat your women and drink their beer, Palermo Boys, we are here.

Overview

It’s time to put an end to the celebrations after the Reggina game. Giornata six, big test number three. If half of your games after six games count as a big test, you should be happy with ten or twelve points. Test number one was passed succesfully after whooping those giallorossi wolftitsuckers, but we failed test two against Napoli. Sunday, it’ll be the biggest test until now. We will be paying a visit to Penitentiary FC in their Lega Pro-stadium. Do you guys remember our last trip to the black-and-white side of Turin? I certainly do, as it was the biggest disgrace I ever had to endure as a Palermo-fan. It also (for the first time) sealed the faith of Stefano Colantuono. So why not return the favor this year?

Let’s face it: Juve 2008 isn’t Juve 2007. They drew Samp and Catania, and barely saved a point in Belarus against BATE. No Très-e-gay, no Gigi, no consistency. This is the moment boys, the moment to shut up every single one of those 1.248 Juventini in the Olimpico. And yes, I know, we already had our revenge for last year’s can of whoopass, but I wouldn’t mind a second serving.

Squad Status

Palermo

Again:I don’t see many changes happening in the line-up. Everything looked pretty good against Reggina, so why change a winning team? The only thing I (and you) would change, is Liverani. But I think we all know it’s not happening. I think he has somekind of sketchy deal with Zampa.

Guana (yes!), Budan and Bresciano are out for the game, which means:

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Cassani, Carrozzieri, Bovo, Balzaretti; Nocerino, Liverani, Migliaccio; Simplicio; Cavani, Miccoli

Juventus

Amauri + 10 other guys. Go visit the Juventus Offside.

Probable Lineup:
Manninger; Grygera, Legrottaglie, Chiellini, De Ceglie; Camoranesi, Poulsen, Sissoko, Nedved; Amauri, Del Piero

Categorical Matchup

Caesar vs. Mini-Gigi: Palermo. Normally I’d give Manninger the same chances, but he doesn’t really look as good as at Siena last year. The two goals against BATE might have shaken him up a little.

Bash Brothers vs. Shit, There’s Talent: Push. Moris and Bovo are one of the hottest defensive pairs of the moment, but Juve’s got The Schnozz and De Ceglie. Equal odds.

Still The Arab! vs. Mayhem: Juventus. Come on, the Juve-midfield is a class apart guys. Even with Nocerino and Miggy on the field.

Still Not Convinced vs. Hero: Juve. Mighty Mouse is kicking ass, but without Cavani scoring any goals, things might get fucked up. Del Piero shows glimpses of class, while Amauri looks even more like a beast than last year.

Final Analysis

Juventus isn’t in the best of shapes right now, and that might be our chance. I expect the guys to know that beating Juve means that we leave them behind, and that we can count ourselves among the big boys in Serie A. At least for one week, that is. I just hope that Liverani plays his first good match of the season, that Cavani finds the net and that Amauri will remember the good times he had when he was still ‘Our Boy’. As said before: I wouldn’t mind seeing him score twice, just as long as Micco makes it one more.

Form Guide

Palermo
LWWLW

Juventus
DWWDD

Past Encounters

06/04/2008 Palermo Juventus 3-2 Serie A
25/11/2007 Juventus Palermo 5-0 Serie A
07/05/2006 Juventus Palermo 2-1 Serie A
07/01/2006 Palermo Juventus 1-2 Serie A
05/02/2005 Palermo Juventus 1-0 Serie A
25/09/2004 Juventus Palermo 1-1 Serie A

Prediction

I’m not aiming for a win, but a tie would be a fantastic result as well.

1-1. Miccoli, Amauri.

MOTM

Mighty Mouse.

Remembering the good times

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!

Saturday, August 30th, 2008 18.00
Stadio Friuli, Udine

Overview

Well, this sucks, doesn’t it? We went down to Ravenna, our management is fuckin’ up everything and we don’t seem to be ready for the new season. Yesterday, I even found a site that predicted us ending 14-15th… This season can go either way: we can kick ass and rub our balls against the ass of the Champions League, but we can also end up trying to avoid ugly gayboy Serie B fucking us up the culo. The game against the Terremotati will make things a lot more clear.

Colantuono needs to forget all the transfer-shit from the last week, and try and concentrate on the game. And Sabatini better not be in the stadium.

Squad Status

Palermo

Although it’s the beginning of the season, we’re already missing people. Cassani, who from now on will be called ‘Screamer’, and Carrozzieri are already out with injuries. Dellafiore, The Serbian Stallion and Capuano (yay! party up in here!) are back from their injuries. Another problem might be De Melo: kid is good, kid is ready, kid kicks Cavani’s ass, but kid might be shipped of to Lille before even tasting Serie A. Bobby Goblin might also be out because of a sudden attack of gayness. I hope.

Probable Lineup:
Amelia; Raggi, Dellafiore, Bovo, Balzaretti; Migliaccio, Liverani, Nocerino; Lanzafame, De Melo, Miccoli

Sampdoria

For more on Udinese and their lineup, go visit Udinese’s Offside page.

Probable Lineup:
Handanovic; Motta, Sala, Vujadinovic, Lukovic; Inler, Tissone; Sanchez, Floro Flores, Di Natale; Quagliarella

Categorical Matchup

The Pretty Roman vs. The Slovak Stopper: Palermo. Come on, Amelia is desperate to prove the world that he is the rightful heir to Gigi’s throne. He’s going to wanna show his skills, and doesn’t want to be the first beaten keeper of the season, like Jimmy was last year.

The New Boys vs. Who The Fuck?: Push. I have no fuckin’ clue what to expect from Udinese’s backline. Half of the starting guys aren’t here, and I don’t know what Motta does when not playing for the Azzurrini. On our defense: it can’t be worse than last season, can it?

Keep the Turd on the Bench! vs. Danger!: Push. Migliaccio + Nocerino + Liverani = Udinese-midfield. Minus Miggy + Guana = disaster.

Amauri No More vs. Poor Man’s Luca Toni: Palermo. It’s the start of the season, and Lanzafame wants to show his skills. Add some scary eyebrows and a playboy to that, and there’s no way Quagliarella and Antonio Floro Flores (that must mean something like Flower Flowers in Spanish, I think) are going to beat that. Maybe Di Natale…no, let’s not thing of that…

Final Analysis

This game is a dangerous one. We have some though weeks coming up, so we need to start the season with a win. Especially against a team that could be competing with us for a European ticket at the end of the season. Beating Marino’s team will give ours a boost, and will also sink the Terremotati’s hopes to do as well as last season. It will also be our first glance at the new team and how it has been affected by the crap from the last weeks.

Form Guide

Palermo
No games played.

Udinese
No games played.

Past Encounters
20 games, 5 wins, 8 losses and 7 ties.

1991/92 – serie B – Udinese-Palermo 1-0
1994/95 – serie B – Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2004/05 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 1-0
2005/06 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2006/07 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 1-2
2007/08 – c. Italia – Udinese-Palermo 0-0
2007/08 – serie A – Udinese-Palermo 1-1

Prediction

It’s not going to be a highscoring affair, I can tell you that from the past.

1-0. De Melo.

MOTM

Amelia, for not conceding.

Sono Bello, Sono Sano, Mia Madre Mi Ha Fatto Palermitano!

There’s another thing called the “Olympics” going on…and normally, I wouldn’t bat an eye if it weren’t for our boys the Azzurrini going for gold. And of course, the Azzurrini are being led by none other than current Palermo player and CAPITANO for the Azzurrini: Antonio Nocerino!

As you can see, Nocerino is the number four jersey and certainly looks great with the captain’s band around his arm. He and his fellow azzurrini put in a great performance today against Honduras. I know it’s only “Honduras” but they got utterly dominated in every facet of the game. Only after Italia was up 3-0 did the Azzurrini allow Honduras some semblance of possession and attack. We can all look forward to the next opportunity to see Nocerino and the boys play again.

Now, on to the random bits of Palermo news and info…

First and foremost, we learned today that PALERMO will kick off the Serie A season as the opening game against Udinese. The game will feature as the first of two games to be played on Saturday, August 30th. Ragazzi, take note of the date. Palermo will face an immediate test at the Stadio Friuli. Let’s go out and grab a full 3 points off the bat, and have Marco Amelia avoid Jimmy Fontana’s distinction last season as the Bottle of Wine recipient – the first keeper to allow the first goal in the new season receives a bottle of wine for having that “dubious” honor.

Palermo are currently training in Levico Terme where they’ve been taking on local sides in friendlies. They won today/yesterday by a score of 1-0. Jankovic had the decisive goal 31 minutes into the second half. He had a really nice shot off of a free kick that hit the back of the net. Colantuono was satisfied with the performance by the guys and singled out Miccoli, Jankovic and Carrozzieri in particular for their good play.

Palermo will face their “biggest” friendly in 5 days when they face the only Italian side in the Bundesliga. Oh wait a minute, that’s right, Wolfsburg is still a German team that is trying to field an all-Italian side. Nonetheless, two familiar faces will be wearing different colors when the match takes place. That, of course, will be both Andrea Barzagli and Cristian Zaccardo. If you click on Zaccardo’s name, you’ll see a great pic of him in some Wolfsburg get-up. Surprisingly, to me at least, Wolfsburg finished in 5th place last year in the Bundesliga, so they aren’t as bad as I thought they were.

Here are some other tidbits that are worth a mention:

Speaking of Guana, I have been thinking about this for awhile, and I am going to propose for the upcoming season, an award in his honor dishonor. In fact, it’s going to be named after both him and our other favorite nimrod, Andrea Caracciolo. It shall be known as the “Guaracciolo Award” and it will be given to the biggest bonehead in Serie A for that week. Ha! Knowing that Guana would be the recipient week in and week out if strictly kept to Palermo players, I’ve thought that we could expand it to all of Serie A. If anything, it should provide us with some entertainment throughout the season, as well as allow us to bust the balls of other crappy players on other Serie A teams. Perhaps, we can call upon Steven’s great photoshop skills to take the current photoshop of “Guaracciolo” and turn it into some sort of trophy-like appearance. Maybe in the form of an Oscar? Thoughts?

As the news happens, I’ll try and let you all know. For now, FORZA PALERMO!

What’s uglier? Liverani or the shirt?

The Suit in his Blowjob-position, Bovo looking like a crazy guy.

Giovanni Tedesco, born in 1947.

“Hello? Thiago Neves? Get your copy of Italian for Dummies, boy, your ass is mine!”

Does Simplicio get blacker every year, or is it just me?

Overview

This is it. The last game of the season at home. The tifosi rosanero will look to salute players who are playing at the Renzo Barbera for the last time in a Palermo jersey. Among the players who are 100% certain to leave are the legend Amauri, Zaccardo, Barzagli and even Emo’tino (at least to get more experience before coming back). It is hard to see these guys leave (well, 3 out of the 4 at least…).

There has been alot of debate concerning who will wear the captain’s armband for the final home game. Obviously, Barzagli has been the “captain” this season, but he hasn’t displayed any of the qualities. Seeing as he’s also leaving at the end of the season, the question of who should wear the armband for the final game has been a tad difficult. During the course of the week, every player who has been interviewed has been asked the question. Colantuono addressed the situation yesterday and said there’s a possibility Amauri could wear the armband. The public has been actively calling for Amauri to be captain, but as of right now it’s still up in the air. Everyone of us would agree that Amauri has been our leader and “captain” this year. He’s given his heart to this club and has not given up at any point this season. The honor of “capitano” should be bestowed upon him if not for this one and only time. In fact, on Thursday, around 100 fans showed up during Palermo’s training and unveiled a banner written in Portugese thanking Amauri for all he’s done for Palermo. He will surely be missed.

The club also still has hopes for a chance at Europe via the Intertoto Cup as we trail Genoa by 2 points with two games to go. It’s amazing to think that after how awful this season has been, there is still a chance we could qualify for Europe. It would be an amazing way to end the season and certainly prove that The Suit should have never been sacked earlier this year. Nonetheless, this game has a good deal of importance for Palermo, its players and its fans.

Squad Status

Palermo

Palermo will be without Bresciano for sure. The interesting thing here is that there are alot of doubts as to the lineup Colantuono will field. In fact, Barzagli and Zaccardo might not even start, according to The Suit. That would effectively end the debate as to who would be captain. However, I have a difficult time believing that we would sit Zacca and Barza even for a half given that Intertoto is still a possibility. Nonetheless, Biava and Cassani would fill in their places. The other questions regarding the lineup are the spots in the midfield between Miggy and the Retard and Bikerman and Cavani. It seems as Miggy and Bikerman have the advantage over the other two – good. Once again, we will be employing the 4-2-3-1.

Probable Lineup:
Agliardi; Zaccardo, Barzagli, Rinaudo, Balzaretti; Simplicio, Migliaccio; Jankovic, Miccoli, Caserta; Amauri

Bench:
Super Fontana; Emo’tino, Cassani, Biava; Di Matteo, Guana, Nonno Tedesco; Çani, Carbonaro, Cavani

Sampdoria

For more on Sampdoria and their lineup, go visit Sampdoria’s Offside page. Oh wait, that’s right…they don’t have one. I guess I’ll have to fill in then. Samp will be without Castellazzi, Volpi, Kalu and Lucchini. Now that they’ve lost out on a CL spot and have already qualified for UEFA, this game is a tad meaningless for them. Nonetheless, Mazzarri’s side will use a 3-5-2 with Palermitano Accardi making a return back to his city of birth.

Probable Lineup:
Mirante; Gastaldello, Sala, Accardi; Maggio, Sammarco, Palombo, Franceschini, Pieri; Cassano, Bellucci

Bench:
Fiorillo; Miglionico, Campagnaro; Delvecchio, Zenoni, Ziegler; Bonazzoli, Montella

Categorical Matchup

“I’m Getting Better” Agliardi vs. Mirante: Sampdoria. Agliardi has been showing improvement over the last couple of games, giving us all hope that he isn’t as bad as we thought. Although, all it takes is one stupid slip up to have him dash our hopes against the rocks. Mirante has been solid in goal all season, for the most part.

Farewell Party vs. Blucerchiato Three Party: Palermo. The same can be said about Palermo’s defense as was said about Agliardi. The back line has been showing better signs as of late. You’d have to expect the troops to be rallied at the back in front of the home fans for one last time this season. I expect a strong, motivated performance from the defense…although, half of them are leaving the team after the remaining two games. So, hopefully, they’ll want to leave a final good impression for us. Except Barzagli. He’s like the Luca Toni of our backline…without the skill. Good riddance.

Keep the Turd on the Bench! vs. 5-Headed Monster: Push. Hey, if we can keep Guana on the bench, I’m liking our midfield. But you never know…he somehow finds his way onto the pitch. I swear, he must have some blackmail on the club so that they HAVE to play him every game otherwise he’ll release this “information” to the public. How else can you explain his appearance in 30 games this season (would’ve been more if he hadn’t been injured or suspended)? Samp’s midfield has been pretty darn good this season and the results have proved it. The big question, though, is: are they up for this meaningless game? If not, expect Palermo to take advantage.

Il Vero Capitano vs. “I am a freaking maniac who should be kept away from women and children…and my own self”: Palermo. Come on. You really think that Sampdoria is going to have the edge in this category over a determined Amauri who will possibly be wearing the captain’s band?! Besides, the Psychopath otherwise known as Cassano will find something to freak out about even if this is a meaningless game for his side.

Final Analysis

Palermo still has something to play for. Sampdoria does not. Amauri wants to give Palermo and their fans one last chance to celebrate at home this year. The rest of the squad would very much like to do the same thing (well, except for Barzagli…he’s already day-dreaming about trying on that hideous purple jacket Prandelli wears every once in awhile. What he doesn’t realize, though, is that he’ll be teammates with Zaccardo again in the Bundesliga with Wolfsburg!). I expect this team to play with grit and determination, and the result at the end of the game will give us another 3 points and keep our Intertoto “dreams” alive.

Form Guide

Palermo
06/04 Palermo-Juventus 3-2 W
12/04 Palermo-Catania 1-0 W
19/04 Fiorentina-Palermo 1-0 L
27/04 Palermo-Atalanta 0-0 D
04/05 Lazio-Palermo 1-2 W

Sampdoria
06/04 Sampdoria-Livorno 2-0 W
13/04 Reggina-Sampdoria 1-0 L
20/04 Sampdoria-Udinese 3-0 W
27/04 Fiorentina-Sampdoria 2-2 D
04/05 Sampdoria-Roma 0-3 L

Prediction

2-1. Amauri, Bellucci, Amauri.

MOTM

Amauri.

Co-MOTM?

Steven – hey, it’s his birthday on Sunday. The least Palermo can do is give him a win!

FORZA PALERMO!