First of all, I have something to say to some people:

To Alessio: it hurts my heart to see Amauri in that prison-striped shirt, but it hurts me even more that Juve have now gotten some sort of ‘face’. It’s harder to hate you and your boys now that my all-time favorite player is one of yours now.

To Lorenzo: thanks a lot for keeping the boys busy while I was away.

To Tommaso over at the Lecce-blog: va scassaci la minchia, cazzo di merda.

And now to the news of the day.

Gazzetta-news

So the Gazzetta did some part about the pre-seasons of all Serie A-teams this week. They compared transfers, pre-season games and the happiness in the squads, and guess what: we were rated “:)”. Not bad. What did they have to say? Except for that terrible defeat against the Lega Pro-team, all of our pre-season friendlies were good. The Gazzetta saw a team that was completely ready to go for it, even without the presence of Nocerino. This is what they stated as the perfect line-up:

Amelia
Raggi – Kjaer – Bovo – Balzaretti
Migliaccio – Liverani – Nocerino
Miccoli
De Melo – Lanzafame

To me, this seems the perfect line-up. Maybe Jankovic can be fitted in there somewhere, but the fact that they didn’t include Guana make me a happy camper. I got even happier when, the next day, they published a list of players the teams in Serie A should get rid of. Because there is no place on the team for them, or because of their bad influence. Number one on the list: Eccelenza’s future MVP.

He was accompagnied by: Federico Agliardi, Ciro Capuano, Mattia Cassani, Simplicio, Bresciano and Cavani. Strange list. I agree with most of these guys, but not with the Cassani-thing. As Lorenzo already said, he may not get lots of playing time this year, but that was the same thing at the start of last season. Once Pisano and Diana were out of the picture, Mattia took his chance and played one hell of a season. And he will always remain a hero for that Juve-screamer. I say we keep him, if Raggi gets hurt we need a replacement. Cavani then. Some of you still think he’s got potential, I see him as the new Ernesto Farias. Send him out on loan, and then we’ll see.

And this comment might shock you: I hope we keep Ciro Capuano until january. No, you didn’t misread that. ShitPants seemed to have impressed everyone in the pre-season games, and somehow he has gotten better after his surgery.

Last but not least, this is what the pink paper had to say about the Wolfsburg-game: “This is a Palermitano team that doesn’t deserve not playing European football this season. Not only are they ready for Europe, they might have even gotten very far in the competition.” Wow.

Pechino 2008: Italia – Belgio

Wow. Again. First of all I didn’t even expect my fellow countrymen to advance, but a game against Italy is so nice. I think it’s clear who I’ll be rooting for. It sure won’t be the likes of Dembele, Mirallas, Ma-Kalambay and Pocognoli. (See? None of these guys are even native Belgians!) I hope they put in a good performance, but seeing Our Boy Nocerino kicking the shit out of them would be so much nicer.

But there also a downside to a possible win. Isn’t Antonio going to be too fuckin’ tired to start the new season? It’s not as if playing in Beijing is healthy, and he has gotten some knocks already. And did you guys know that our Antonio shares a hobby with Tommaso’s butbuddy Cassano?

The Androberto Guaracciolo-Award

Fantastic idea by Lorenzo. From now on, we’ll have another weekly post next to the Preview, Review and Video of the Week. After every match day you guys can nominate your favourite Androberto Guarraciolo of the giornata.

And last but not least, there’s this. Do you guys remember that totally gay tattoo-picture of Andrea Bovo? Well, get a load of this.

“Does this make me look less like a gay retard?”

“Dude, I was so drunk when I got this one…

Never knew Marco Pisano liked Depeche Mode…

* We all love Edgar Cani, but we all agree the kid needs some first-team experience to make sure he keeps on making progress. He’s not gonna get it in Palermo, so enter Modena. The Balsamico Boys want to rent both Cani and Di Matteo for a year. Something like this would be nice for them, for us, and Modena. A win-win-win situation.

* Edison Cavani is calcio’s favourite virgin of the moment. Lazio and Napoli already stated they want the Uruguayan Underperformer, and now West Ham (do you know them, Davide?) also claimed they want the striker. Unlike Lazio, West Ham wants to pay the kid his million dollar wage and are agreeing to get him on loan with a possibility to buy him afterwards. Can you say ‘Whore’?

* Bikerman Caserta is going nowhere. Great news. Just look at how cute he can be. What a way to fall out of character, Fabio!

* Federico Agliardi said he’s leaving Palermo. Guess what boy, we already knew. Ol’ Butterfingers is moving to either Livorno or Bologna. Ciao!

* We’re still hunting for attackers. According to TMW, we’re after Triestina-striker Granoche.

He looks goddamn ugly, but he managed 24 goals in 41 games in Serie B. To get him to Palermo, Primavera-striker Davis Curiale might be shipped off to Trieste. Curiale is also wanted by Bari and Bologna.

* Bologna also wants Federico Agliardi. Nice, get him off the island as soon as possible.

* The Liverani-transfer should come to a close today, Floccari might be a Palermitano later this week.

* Zamp and Fioremerda have an agreement over Cocksuckzagli. Now it’s time for the little fairy to discuss money.

* Later today, Cristian Abbiati may be announced as our new keeper. Atletico wants 1.5 million, Zampa wants to give it. Possible successor of Abbiati in Madrid: Marco Amelia.

* More suckers moving out: Napoli and Man Shitty both want Baldy Bresciano. Do you guys want some panelle with that?

* The ‘Foggia for Cavani’-rumours are getting louder and louder. I say we do it.

* Reggina-president Foti has decided to start being an asshole. He said he might let Salvo Aronica move to Palermo, but only if Ciccio Brienza can stay in Reggio Calabria. Hmm…

That’s all for today guys, enjoy!

Overview

This is it. The last game of the season at home. The tifosi rosanero will look to salute players who are playing at the Renzo Barbera for the last time in a Palermo jersey. Among the players who are 100% certain to leave are the legend Amauri, Zaccardo, Barzagli and even Emo’tino (at least to get more experience before coming back). It is hard to see these guys leave (well, 3 out of the 4 at least…).

There has been alot of debate concerning who will wear the captain’s armband for the final home game. Obviously, Barzagli has been the “captain” this season, but he hasn’t displayed any of the qualities. Seeing as he’s also leaving at the end of the season, the question of who should wear the armband for the final game has been a tad difficult. During the course of the week, every player who has been interviewed has been asked the question. Colantuono addressed the situation yesterday and said there’s a possibility Amauri could wear the armband. The public has been actively calling for Amauri to be captain, but as of right now it’s still up in the air. Everyone of us would agree that Amauri has been our leader and “captain” this year. He’s given his heart to this club and has not given up at any point this season. The honor of “capitano” should be bestowed upon him if not for this one and only time. In fact, on Thursday, around 100 fans showed up during Palermo’s training and unveiled a banner written in Portugese thanking Amauri for all he’s done for Palermo. He will surely be missed.

The club also still has hopes for a chance at Europe via the Intertoto Cup as we trail Genoa by 2 points with two games to go. It’s amazing to think that after how awful this season has been, there is still a chance we could qualify for Europe. It would be an amazing way to end the season and certainly prove that The Suit should have never been sacked earlier this year. Nonetheless, this game has a good deal of importance for Palermo, its players and its fans.

Squad Status

Palermo

Palermo will be without Bresciano for sure. The interesting thing here is that there are alot of doubts as to the lineup Colantuono will field. In fact, Barzagli and Zaccardo might not even start, according to The Suit. That would effectively end the debate as to who would be captain. However, I have a difficult time believing that we would sit Zacca and Barza even for a half given that Intertoto is still a possibility. Nonetheless, Biava and Cassani would fill in their places. The other questions regarding the lineup are the spots in the midfield between Miggy and the Retard and Bikerman and Cavani. It seems as Miggy and Bikerman have the advantage over the other two – good. Once again, we will be employing the 4-2-3-1.

Probable Lineup:
Agliardi; Zaccardo, Barzagli, Rinaudo, Balzaretti; Simplicio, Migliaccio; Jankovic, Miccoli, Caserta; Amauri

Bench:
Super Fontana; Emo’tino, Cassani, Biava; Di Matteo, Guana, Nonno Tedesco; Çani, Carbonaro, Cavani

Sampdoria

For more on Sampdoria and their lineup, go visit Sampdoria’s Offside page. Oh wait, that’s right…they don’t have one. I guess I’ll have to fill in then. Samp will be without Castellazzi, Volpi, Kalu and Lucchini. Now that they’ve lost out on a CL spot and have already qualified for UEFA, this game is a tad meaningless for them. Nonetheless, Mazzarri’s side will use a 3-5-2 with Palermitano Accardi making a return back to his city of birth.

Probable Lineup:
Mirante; Gastaldello, Sala, Accardi; Maggio, Sammarco, Palombo, Franceschini, Pieri; Cassano, Bellucci

Bench:
Fiorillo; Miglionico, Campagnaro; Delvecchio, Zenoni, Ziegler; Bonazzoli, Montella

Categorical Matchup

“I’m Getting Better” Agliardi vs. Mirante: Sampdoria. Agliardi has been showing improvement over the last couple of games, giving us all hope that he isn’t as bad as we thought. Although, all it takes is one stupid slip up to have him dash our hopes against the rocks. Mirante has been solid in goal all season, for the most part.

Farewell Party vs. Blucerchiato Three Party: Palermo. The same can be said about Palermo’s defense as was said about Agliardi. The back line has been showing better signs as of late. You’d have to expect the troops to be rallied at the back in front of the home fans for one last time this season. I expect a strong, motivated performance from the defense…although, half of them are leaving the team after the remaining two games. So, hopefully, they’ll want to leave a final good impression for us. Except Barzagli. He’s like the Luca Toni of our backline…without the skill. Good riddance.

Keep the Turd on the Bench! vs. 5-Headed Monster: Push. Hey, if we can keep Guana on the bench, I’m liking our midfield. But you never know…he somehow finds his way onto the pitch. I swear, he must have some blackmail on the club so that they HAVE to play him every game otherwise he’ll release this “information” to the public. How else can you explain his appearance in 30 games this season (would’ve been more if he hadn’t been injured or suspended)? Samp’s midfield has been pretty darn good this season and the results have proved it. The big question, though, is: are they up for this meaningless game? If not, expect Palermo to take advantage.

Il Vero Capitano vs. “I am a freaking maniac who should be kept away from women and children…and my own self”: Palermo. Come on. You really think that Sampdoria is going to have the edge in this category over a determined Amauri who will possibly be wearing the captain’s band?! Besides, the Psychopath otherwise known as Cassano will find something to freak out about even if this is a meaningless game for his side.

Final Analysis

Palermo still has something to play for. Sampdoria does not. Amauri wants to give Palermo and their fans one last chance to celebrate at home this year. The rest of the squad would very much like to do the same thing (well, except for Barzagli…he’s already day-dreaming about trying on that hideous purple jacket Prandelli wears every once in awhile. What he doesn’t realize, though, is that he’ll be teammates with Zaccardo again in the Bundesliga with Wolfsburg!). I expect this team to play with grit and determination, and the result at the end of the game will give us another 3 points and keep our Intertoto “dreams” alive.

Form Guide

Palermo
06/04 Palermo-Juventus 3-2 W
12/04 Palermo-Catania 1-0 W
19/04 Fiorentina-Palermo 1-0 L
27/04 Palermo-Atalanta 0-0 D
04/05 Lazio-Palermo 1-2 W

Sampdoria
06/04 Sampdoria-Livorno 2-0 W
13/04 Reggina-Sampdoria 1-0 L
20/04 Sampdoria-Udinese 3-0 W
27/04 Fiorentina-Sampdoria 2-2 D
04/05 Sampdoria-Roma 0-3 L

Prediction

2-1. Amauri, Bellucci, Amauri.

MOTM

Amauri.

Co-MOTM?

Steven – hey, it’s his birthday on Sunday. The least Palermo can do is give him a win!

FORZA PALERMO!

Squad Status

Palermo

Palermo will be without Zaccardo due to suspension and “Bikerman” Caserta and “Cyranose” Biava who sustained some injuries during the week. Most likely, The Suit will employ the 4-2-3-1 again this week, even though he’s been thinking about the 4-4-2.

Probable Line-up:
Agliardi; Cassani, Barzagli, Rinaudo, Balzaretti; Guana, Migliaccio; Jankovic, Miccoli, Bresciano; Amauri

Bench:
Super Fontana; Emo’tino, Romeo (no joke…that’s his name); Di Matteo, Simplicio, Nonno Tedesco; Çani, Carbonaro, Cavani

Lazio

Man, looks like they’ve taken a hit for players as there are a bunch of doubts for their lineup tomorrow. Most recently, it looks like the man who makes Nonno Tedesco look like a picciriddu – Marco Ballotta, is out for tomorrow. Joining him are Rocchi, Radu, Behrami, Diakite, Dabo and Siviglia. Do they have anyone left to play this match? Apparently, they have found players to play tomorrow…so, I guess that counts for something. They will incorporate the ol’ 4-3-1-2.

Probable Line-Up:
Muslera; Zauri, Rozenhal, Cribari, Kolarov; Mutarelli, Ledesma, Manfredini; Meghni; Pandev, Tare

Bench:
Berni, De Silvestri, Mudingayi, Vignaroli, Mauri, Del Nero, Bianchi

Categorical Matchup

Aiutami! Agliardi vs. Fernando Muslim Muslera: Palermo. Let’s face it, Agliardi hasn’t exactly been a wall of confidence back there. However, he has played pretty darn well as of late. He’s made some nice saves and looks to be gaining some of that confidence he certainly has lacked. Muslera, on the other hand, is young and relatively inexperienced. He’s given up 12 goals in 7 games this year. He has some upside though, just not this year.

Leaky Pipes vs. Swiss Cheese: Palermo. The defense has been playing somewhat better and Biava is out. Add to that is the return of Rinaudo and on paper, it looks like we only have a few leaks here and there. Plus, we have Emo’tino on the bench…he’ll try not to cut himself while awaiting a sub into the game…(I kid!). Lazio’s defense hasn’t exactly been that good this year. They’ve given up 48 goals to Palermo’s 52. However, I’m giving Palermo the edge here because Lazio is employing what looks to be a second team backline as they prepare for their semi-final game against Inter.

Baldies + 2 vs. the M Squad + Ledesma: Push. Guana. That’s it. Guana. He’s most likely starting and as long as we have him on the field running around like a schizo, our midfield will hurt because of it. Plus, Lazio’s midfield is decent. They’re not using possible transfer target Behrami tomorrow (who, just might be one of the weirdest looking dudes in all of Serie A.

Amaurinho vs. the Foreign Legion: Palermo. Amaurinho is only with us for a few more games before he goes to most likely Rubentus and Champions League glory. That being said, he’s looking to give Palermo some gifts before he leaves in the form of magical goals like he scored against the aformentioned Rubentini. I will take him over the duo of Tare and Pandev any day. Pandev is solid, while Tare is old. And his hair is ridiculously blonde – so much so that you almost need to sport sunglasses to watch him play. So, yeah. Amauri is King.

Final Analysis

Neither team really has anything to play for anymore this season. Mathematically, Palermo can still make the Intertoto, but it’ll take some mighty fine luck to achieve that. Lazio has the Coppa Italia still, so they’re already looking to the midweek game. Thus, it comes down to pride and performance for next season for both teams’ players and coaches. Seeing as Lazio still has somewhat of a distraction with the midweek game and a chance at silverware, Palermo has a good chance at coming away with a win.

Form Guide

Palermo
30/03 Napoli-Palermo 1-0 L
06/04 Palermo-Juventus 3-2 W
12/04 Palermo-Catania 1-0 W
19/04 Fiorentina-Palermo 1-0 L
27/04 Palermo-Atalanta 0-0 D

Lazio
29/03 Lazio-Inter 1-1 D
06/04 Parma-Lazio 2-2 D
13/04 Lazio-Siena 1-1 D
20/04 Catania-Lazio 1-0 L
27/04 Juventus-Lazio 5-2 L

Prediction

3-1. Amauri, Amauri, Amauri, Bianchi.

MOTM

Amauri.

FORZA PALERMO!!!!!!